{"id":1860,"date":"2022-09-26T19:45:49","date_gmt":"2022-09-26T23:45:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/grindersbasketball.net\/V2\/2022\/09\/26\/session-2022-03-preview\/"},"modified":"2022-09-26T19:45:49","modified_gmt":"2022-09-26T23:45:49","slug":"session-2022-03-preview","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/2022\/09\/26\/session-2022-03-preview\/","title":{"rendered":"Session 2022-03 Preview"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

There were open runs. There was a draft. There are teams. Admittedly, the league beat writer writer ran out of steam about half-way through\u2026 enjoy!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Team: Mike Gersitz<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Draft Grade: 46\/100<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Team Grade: 62\/100<\/p>\n\n\n\n

League superstar Mike Gersitz tries his hand at being a GM this session. Anyone who bet Gersitz would dominate the draft the way he does the EBC basketball court or Laundromat YouTube wished they wagered on BitCoin instead. What does the reigning Poor Performer of the session go for when Gersitz is at the helm? An offensively high $28, 3rd highest in this session.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rank<\/th>Player<\/th>Team<\/th>Position<\/th><\/tr><\/thead>
1<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Jeff May<\/a><\/td>Bobby<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
2<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Mike Ford<\/a><\/td>Witt<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
3<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Jon Urbaniak<\/a><\/td>OMJ<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
4<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Chris Cole<\/a><\/td>E<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
5<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Matt Vaillancourt<\/a><\/td>Vaillancourt<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
6<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Chuck Thomasulo<\/a><\/td>Curtis<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
7<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Jimmy Zeitz<\/a><\/td>Bobby<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
8<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Justin Gerardi<\/a><\/td>Pauly P<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
9<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Jon Tirado<\/a><\/td>Tirado<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
10<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Peyton Urbaniak<\/a><\/td>OMJ<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
11<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Todd Nixon<\/a><\/td>Crazy<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
12<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Mike Malicki<\/a><\/td>Garrett<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
13<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Richie Creamer<\/a><\/td>KO<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
14<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Mike Benjamin<\/a><\/td>Paul J<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
15<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Tommy Hughes<\/a><\/td>KO<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
16<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Mark Doyle<\/a><\/td>Tirado<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
17<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Eric Boerdner<\/a><\/td>E<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
18<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Curtis Masich<\/a><\/td>Curtis<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
19<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Jon Witt<\/a><\/td>Tirado<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
20<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Grant Decz<\/a><\/td>OMJ<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
21<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Paul Johnson<\/a><\/td>Curtis<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
22<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Aaron Kiselev<\/a><\/td>Peyton<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
23<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Eric Carlson<\/a><\/td>Peyton<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
24<\/td>Sub<\/a><\/td>-<\/a><\/td><\/td><\/tr>
25<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Wayne Haynes<\/a><\/td>Tirado<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
26<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Kellen Owen<\/a><\/td>KO<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
27<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Josh Lanzot<\/a><\/td>OMJ<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
28<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Justin Rybinski<\/a><\/td>OMJ<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
29<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Mike Gersitz<\/a><\/td>Tirado<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
30<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Ben Sears<\/a><\/td>E<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
31<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Al Derrico<\/a><\/td>Crazy<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
32<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Zach Newberry<\/a><\/td>KO<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
33<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Josh Morcelle<\/a><\/td>Tirado<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
34<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Mike Salvati<\/a><\/td>Alec<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
35<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Bobby Spaziani<\/a><\/td>Tall Justin<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
36<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Cory Muldowney<\/a><\/td>E<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
37<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Mike Boccio<\/a><\/td>Bobby<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
38<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Joe Marie<\/a><\/td>Crazy<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
39<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Paul Palombo<\/a><\/td>Pauly P<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
40<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Matt Kieta<\/a><\/td>Jimmy<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
41<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Bryant Brown<\/a><\/td>Bobby<\/a><\/td>Guard<\/td><\/tr>
42<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Garrett Beesing<\/a><\/td>Alec<\/a><\/td>Forward<\/td><\/tr>
43<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Bobby Kendrick<\/a><\/td>Bobby<\/a><\/td><\/td><\/tr>
44<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Chaz Hooks<\/a><\/td>Alec<\/a><\/td><\/td><\/tr>
45<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Alec Huskey<\/a><\/td>Alec<\/a><\/td><\/td><\/tr>
46<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Kale Kliss<\/a><\/td>Peyton<\/a><\/td><\/td><\/tr>
47<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Dave Walter<\/a><\/td>Alec<\/a><\/td><\/td><\/tr>
48<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Danny Rokitka<\/a><\/td>E<\/a><\/td><\/td><\/tr>
49<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Angel Tirado<\/a><\/td>Tirado<\/a><\/td><\/td><\/tr>
50<\/td>\"\"<\/span>Alex Dutkiewicz<\/a><\/td>Tirado<\/a><\/td><\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

By the way, 0.5 GAPE is easily the WORST in the EBC era. But, what about Ben Sears, you ask? Well, if you get 3 games out of him this session, I guess that\u2019s a win. Pauly J continues to obsessively pull it to hot MILF Olivia Munn while not in the game. Johnson is essentially the leagues Miro Satan – awesome when he is on the hot streak\u2026 and then\u2026 the rest of the time. Mike \u201cWorm (Q)\u201d Benjamin is the leagues reigning Playoff MVP. Even if Worm continues his magical play from last session\u2019s playoffs, this team is doomed for last place. Normally any team with Mike G on it is in the championship conversation, but not this session.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Good news?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mike Gersitz will definitely win the Hero Baller award this session, most likely breaking the single session record he already holds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Team: Tall Justin<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Team Strength: 60\/100<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Team Grade: 70\/100<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tall Justin, the leagues tallest player, refuses to play down low and win. Instead, he loves to shoot 3\u2019s like the paint is hot lava. Eric \u201cLittle Cuz\u201d Carlson also loves to shoot the 3 ball. Jeff May, looking to prove that he isn\u2019t washed up, continues to battle Father Time. When he is on his game, there is no better shooter. He is, though, 73 years old. Rounding out this roster are winners of 3 of the first 4 Poor Performers in EBC history. Justin \u201cHelmet\u201d Girardi is no stranger to bashing his teammates strategy while on the bench\u2026 where he will probably spend all his time this session. Josh, reigning \u201cMike Ford Pain In the Dick\u201d award winner, will battle Eric Carlson for the most fouls in Grinders history. This team will be unpleasant to play against. Grinders beware – wear your body armor against this collection of hacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Good news?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Justin is still tall. Little Josh had a career best 7.0 Gape, 14x better than \u201cCrazy\u201d, and went for 1\/28th the price. Total steal. I guess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Team: Richie<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Draft Grade: 100\/100<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Team Grade: 80\/100<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The league\u2019s analytics branch warned Little Richie not to draft all short guys. Instead, he drafted all short guys and Josh Lanzot, who had a career session in the winter. Pro-tip for Josh – be ready to catch Richie\u2019s shots from 3 before they go out of bounds\u2026 \u201cAK\u201d Aaron Kiselev, hoping to not get drafted by Putin, instead got drafted by Richie Creamer. Is that a win? \u201cAK\u201d hasn\u2019t played in a few sessions – and will be working to slowly get back in game shape. Luckily, Todd \u201cFucking\u201d Nixon has made it known he will have limited availability\u2026 so here\u2019s hoping \u201cAK\u201d already rehabbed. Then there is Jimmy Z – a quick, talented baller – as long as his ankles are in tact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Good news?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

EBC still has plenty of chairs\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Team: Tommy<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Draft Grade: 90\/100<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Team Grade: 81\/100<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tommy Hughes drafted this team like it was 2016. Mike Ford and Old Man Jon are 2 of the oldest 3 guys in the league. The analytics department wanted to point that out as a terrible, terrible strategy. Mark Doyle is probably the Grinder in the best shape, while Chuck T is an assassin from 3, sometimes. Tommy has long hair, and like my cat Thor, his effectiveness is directly correlated with his waist line. This team should be tough to beat\u2026 as long as everyone shows up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Good news?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Doyle\u2019s pants-game rivals only Ford\u2019s during EBC game play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Team: Curt Masich<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Draft Grade: 77\/100<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Team Grade: 83\/100<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cForeign\u201d Curt, as exactly one guy knows him as, made some odd choices for his team. Curt, who notoriously never sits nor passes after half time, or – wins playoff games, drafted Jon \u201cBang-Bang\u201d Tirado and Eric \u201cI haven\u2019t won a single game at EBC\u201d Boerdner\u2026 who are both allergic to passing the basketball. It\u2019s unclear how this will turn out for this team, but odds are it won\u2019t be great. Matt Vaillancourt, notorious \u201cblocking\u201d fouler gets to play down low and will probably shatter the single session rebound record\u2026 with all the bricks that are bound to be shot by his teammates. Will he and Boerdner be able to coexist? The over\/under on games before a fight is 0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Good news?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Peyton Urbaniak joins the league at the fresh age of \u201c22\u201d. Broke reigning MVP Mike Gersitz\u2019s ankles on his very first possession\u2026 much to the delight of everyone in attendance. Youth and height usually kill in this league. As long as you ignore that his dad has a better jumper, that is\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Team: Cole<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Draft Grade: n\/a<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Team Grade: 87\/100<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wait, this roster was good enough to win a Championship? Grinders everywhere have been left scratching their heads since the infamous session these chodes won. What can one say about these guys? KO, former Poor Performer – plays just well enough not to win that award a second time. Witt has no hair and never met a chest he didn\u2019t drive his forearm into while driving to the hoop. Salvati only plays after 9pm – that\u2019s not suspicious or anything. Newberry – cheater. Probably – just like that chess player. No one knows how for sure – but we all assume it has something to do with anal beads. And Christopher Cole. He\u2019s been working hard this off-season. Word is he needed to buy a smaller jersey size. Nah – just kidding, he didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s good?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nothing. There\u2019s nothing good here. This team is obnoxious.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There were open runs. There was a draft. There are teams. Admittedly, the league beat writer writer ran out of steam about half-way through\u2026 enjoy! Team: Mike Gersitz Draft Grade: 46\/100 Team Grade: 62\/100 League superstar Mike Gersitz tries his hand at being a GM this session. Anyone who bet Gersitz would dominate the draft […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[11,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1860","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","category-kenny-blankenship"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1860","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1860"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1860\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1860"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1860"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1860"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}