{"id":4087,"date":"2023-12-21T15:28:17","date_gmt":"2023-12-21T20:28:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/?p=4087"},"modified":"2023-12-21T15:38:42","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T20:38:42","slug":"twas-the-night-before-grinders-2023","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/2023\/12\/21\/twas-the-night-before-grinders-2023\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Twas the Night Before Grinders 2023\u2026\u2026.."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>It&#8217;s that time of year again folks. Enjoy!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-post-author\"><div class=\"wp-block-post-author__avatar\"><img alt='' src='https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a12cfafdab1b0e437e435fcee86c7564a278fb707e4f9d19cfe7e11fa964c939?s=48&#038;d=mm&#038;r=g' srcset='https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a12cfafdab1b0e437e435fcee86c7564a278fb707e4f9d19cfe7e11fa964c939?s=96&#038;d=mm&#038;r=g 2x' class='avatar avatar-48 photo' height='48' width='48' \/><\/div><div class=\"wp-block-post-author__content\"><p class=\"wp-block-post-author__byline\">\u201dWell, you\u2019re wrong!\u201d<\/p><p class=\"wp-block-post-author__name\">Captain Tenneal<\/p><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<pre class=\"wp-block-preformatted\">'Twas the night before Grinders\nAnd all through the halls\nNot a sound could be heard\nNot even an \"Aaaaaaaaiiirrrrrr Baaaaaallllllll\"\n\nThe stats were all posted\u00a0\nOn the website with care.\nThe sheets were stuffed full\nLike Richie's sister, with her legs in the air.\n\nWe all bellied up\nSnug to the bar,\nAbout to say things that certainly, \nMight go too far.\n\nJimmy's team had visions of Rings\nRunning through their bald heads.\nBut that was all foiled\nWhen Kieta took the shots, instead.\n\nMike Ford did what Mike Ford does.\nHe stepped on the court and played,\u00a0\n\"Just because.\"\n\nFirst Ballot E.\nHe tried his best.\nAfter the game he was heard,\n\"Why did Jimmy draft this mess?\"\n\nHelmet, poor Helmet.\nHe got a ton of rest.\nOf course his team lost.\nHe's a fan of the Mets.\n\nSpeaking of losers,\nThere's team Jaff May.\nWe all watched them and asked,\n\"Can any of them play?\"\n\nThere's Bryant the Grinder.\nThat guy doesn't pass it.\nHis best \"dime\" all session\nWas the one to the closet.\n\nTodd \"Big Dixon\"\nShowed up for a week or two.\nBro, please attend Grinders.\nWhat is it that you do, do?\n\nMike Salvati plays hard,\nOf that there's no doubt.\nWhen he doesn't get the ball.\nYou'll see a grown man pout.\n\nPauly Palumbo is a guy\nThat even I can't tease.\nWhen he walks on the court\nI just chant \"MVP!\"\n\nAway to the bathroom\nI flew like a flash.\nI opened the stall\nAnd sat on my ass.\n\nSpeaking of ass,\nI think of Team K.O.\nThere's Tommy, Josh and Kellen,\nAll shaped like the letter O.\n\nSoft as Charmin is coming so\nPlease don't foil it.\nThe only rim Tall Justin gets near\nIs the one on the toilet.\n\nWe can't forget Zach\nWho plays with a scowl.\nThis dude plays good D?\nAll he does is foul.\n\nSpeaking of foul,\nTeam Cole comes to mind.\nThey hack and eye rake you,\nuntil you go blind.\n\nSo Cole is fat,\nHe flips and he flops.\nThat f'ers so fat\nHe can't even stop.\n\nHe whines and complains,\nAnd bitches and moans.\nHe's so fat,\nYou can hear his waistband groan.\n\nTalk about groaning,\nWe do when JT shoots.\nMiss 10 in a row?\nJT gives zero hoots.\n\nOn the topic of missing\nThis team looks to Chuck T.\nHe misses so badly,\nWe think \u201ccan he\u00a0even see?\u201d\n\nRichie shows up now,\nBut his team doesn't care.\nWe all know his best work\nIs done with a chair.\n\nWayne oh Wayne.\nHe's such a large mass.\nHe puts his layups\nRight through the glass.\n\nOn the topic of glass\nTeam Curt we see through you.\nYour team is soooooo bad.\nHow did your team finish number 2?\n\nCurtis Masich just shoots.\nHe doesn't know how to dish.\nIf his team wants the ball\nThey call Make-A-Wish.\n\nBen is back.\nHe's showed up the most.\nI thought he was a myth.\nI thought he was a ghost.\n\nBoccio keeps playing.\nWhen he dribbles he falls.\nBoccio should retire\nAnd go back to football.\n\n\u2018Lil Josh is on this team\nBut he really doesn't matter.\nHe's so minute (my-noot) I can't tell\nIf he's shorter - or fatter.\n\nJoe Marie is a tough guy\nWhen he lowers his shoulder.\nHe should be thrown out of the league\nBefore he gets bolder.\n\nThis leaves us with Gersitz\nAnd \u201chis\u201d uninspiring crew.\nOne playoff game is all they have\nBefore their season is through.\n\nGarrett's a new guy.\nLet's make him sing a Christmas carol.\nDude you suck at basketball.\nGo back to playing football with Darryl.\n\nMike Benjamin's weak\nAnd so is his hamstring.\nHis only claim to fame\nis a mini-season, half-a ring.\n\nOld Man Jon done got hurt\nSo he might have to retire.\nOne more IPA or chicken finger\nAnd his heart may expire.\n\nHis son Peyton\nWears a bandana - a real trend setter.\nUnfortunately for him,\nHis Dad\u2019s jumper is STILL better.\n\nCrazy Al's a saavy\u00a0vet.\nAt the bar he should stay.\nAl's not great at basketball.\nHe's more of a Pele.\n\nThe buzzer had sounded.\nIt caused quite a clatter.\nI ran into the gym\u00a0\nTo see what was the matter.\n\nTo what to my wandering eyes should appear\nGrinders of old spreading holiday cheer.\nThere was Nate and PigPen and Poke there too.\nPauly J, Corey, and \u2018Lil Cuz to name a few.\n\nLamson and Benson\nScotty Walters, and Swain\nI can't think of many more.\nMy brain is in pain.\n\nThey sang and they laughed\nAnd drank and didn't stop\nThat was until they watched\nWitt flop and flop.\n\nVaillancourt from Baltimore\nStreamed our games live.\nI won't repeat what Richie said,\n\u201cDanielle's quite the..................she's 45.\u201d\n\nWho else is missing?\nWho's dodging the bullet.\nThey're all scared unlike Curt's sister,\nShe really took it.\n\nOn Sandy and Chuck\nAnd John with the stash.\nYou can pay with a card.\nBetter tip her in cash.\n\nWhere's Crandall and Schwegler?\nWhere's Panda and Lou?\nDon't worry Psardellis\nWe didn't forget about you.\n\nOne week from championship Wednesday,\nNever forget that game Cole wasn\u2019t lippy,\nHe got torched for forty-seven,\nCourtesy of one, Mike Malicki.\n\nThe excitement is there.\nThe playoffs are here.\nSit down and enjoy them.\nGrab a cold beer.\n\nWhile you watch and you trash talk,\nHonor Grinders rule one, don't deny.\nMerry Christmas to all\nAnd BALL DON'T LIE!<\/pre>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>P.S. Buzz&#8217;s girlfriend&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.woof!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s that time of year again folks. Enjoy! &#8216;Twas the night before Grinders And all through the halls Not a sound could be heard Not even an &#8220;Aaaaaaaaiiirrrrrr Baaaaaallllllll&#8221; The stats were all posted\u00a0 On the website with care. The sheets were stuffed full Like Richie&#8217;s sister, with her legs in the air. We all [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4094,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4087","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2023\/12\/craiyon_141723_santa_claus_with_beer.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4087","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4087"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4087\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4096,"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4087\/revisions\/4096"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4094"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4087"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4087"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grinders.live\/basketball\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4087"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}