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| Date | Time | Full Time |
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| 40' |
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| Date | Time | Full Time |
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| 40' |
Category: Captain Tenneal
Session Review: 2021-01
Grinders at The Eldridge Club Season 1 review……
The first season at the new diggs went off great. Folks learned how to do the scoreboard and shot clock quickly, adding a flair of the big leagues that Grinders has desperately missed. New people have been hanging out after games now that the bar is a stone’s throw away. The heckling has even gotten better during games due to the swing lube allowed in the gym. Our website is looking better than ever and we even have a Twitch or a Snappychat or a Remind (whatever the hell the kids use these days) to engage in daily Grinders tom-foolery. I think the changes to Grinders have been a positive one.
As for the season…….We had an undefeated team in the regular season for the first (?) time in Grinders history. Team Pink looked like the 73 win Warriors team from a few years ago walking over the league to a 6-0 record. Team Blue was the predominant favorite pre-season and looked like they were unstoppable…..until a 4-game slide made them look less than G-league going into the playoffs. Teams Black and Grey looked to be lost throughout most of the season but occasionally looked like they were figuring it out (Curt drops 40, Grey beats Blue for first win). We had people make their debuts (Tirado, Pauly J., Wayne, Eric) and saw old stars return (Grant, Curt, Jeff May, AK47). Teams were getting used to the 3-ball being in play and how that was going to affect things. Hell we even had a buzzer-beater from “half-court”. All-in-all it was a fun first regular season. We even had our first Grinders awards. This session we need to figure out a way to make that ceremony better.
On to the playoffs we go…….
Team Black vs Team Blue: No one knew what was going to happen in this one. Black finally had Curt and Grant and could beat anyone on a given day. Blue was riding a 4-game losing streak and looked like they were in trouble. So to be frank, this one didn’t live up to the billing. Grant and Curt were brutal going a combined 7-50. Mike missed more layups than Ford. Luckily for Black the supporting cast of Jon, Pauly J, and Worm had it going and kept them in it for most of the game. Blue relied on Jon “This time Robin saves Batman” Witt who dropped 24 by the game’s end (his first clutch performance since the Reagan administration). Blue eventually pulled away and walked into the finals on the red-brick road that Curt and Grant shot for them.
Team Pink vs Team Grey: This game looked more like a WWF wrestling match by the end than a free-flowing, highly-talented basketball game. Pink got out to a quick start raining 3’s all over Grey’s faces from everywhere on the court. Stats don’t lie. Grey was the worst shooting team in the league and Pink had the best defense. It was no surprise that Pink was way ahead at the start. Then something funny happened. Pink forgot how to put their balls in the hole. They forgot who the right team to pass to was. Grey slowly, methodically crept back in and made it a game early in the second half. Luckily for Pink (who was terrible in the second half), Grey was even worse at finishing and Pink snuck out a bad win.
Team Pink vs Team Blue: Mike happened………that is all. Words can’t put into picture what his performance looked like, combine Jordan’s shoulder-shrug game in the Finals, Kobe’s 81 vs Toronto, and Magic’s performance in game 6 of the Finals as a rookie. It was simply spectacular. Oh, Witt, Doyle, and Nixon were also on the court……..we think…….maybe.
As for Pink, 7-1, and a missed opportunity for Grinders immortality as the ONLY undefeated team ever. Too bad, so sad. If the Finals were a chicken bone Team Pink woulda gone Mama Cass all over it. The Cash Cousins no-showed, Ford disappeared, Jeff May left his game on the trainer’s table, and Cole still has 3rd burns from getting torched by Mike (47 pts, 11 3’s).
All-Grinders
First TeamC/F: Grant Decz
F/G: Mike Malicki
F/G: Tommy Hughes
F/G: Richie Creamer
Week 5 Winners & Losers
Winners:
1. Mike “Worm” Benjamin – Kid got off the schnide and got HIS first Grinders win of the season
2. Team Pink – Jeff May has returned making Pink the heavy favorite to win it all
3. Eldredge Club – the bar was filled with Grinders athletes buying drink after drink and shot after shot. Good times were had by all except……….
Losers:
1. Jon “My neck. Oh! my back. My neck and my back” Witt – Witt was “injured” in his team’s loss to Black. We here at Grinders HQ are wishing him a speedy recovery
2. Eric Carlson – after proclaiming he was going to “drop 30” on Pink, “Little Cousin” went 5 of 14 and scored 13 points. Grinders is all about the ish-talk but boy you better back it up.
Week 4 Winners & Losers
Winners:
1. The fans who stayed for the 7:30 game got to witness the first buzzer-beater in Grinders/Eldridge Club history!!! Very cool!
Losers:
1. Jon Witt – losing again in heart-breaking fashion, heard muttering, “I’m just not cut out to win Grinders.”, bails on the bar……..Has he finally been broken???
2. Team Pink – was supposed to be the GLORIOUS return of Jeff May. Fizzle! Pop! Splat! Mr. May no-showed and we were left wondering, “Will it ever happen?”
3. Team Blue – losing on a half-court buzzer-beater. No worse way to go out.
Week 4 Recap
Team Blue vs Team Grey….or as Witt calls them Grey’s Anatomy.
15.5 point spread!?!?!?!? 15.5 points?!?!?!?!!??! What the hades were the oddsmakers thinking (their GAPE, most likely)? Team Grey must have used it for billboard material cause they came out to play. In what was a highly competitive game throughout, saw it’s best and worst action in the last 45 seconds. First, up 3, Blue decides to cover Vaillancourt for some reason and then even DOUBLE TEAM him in the post. This left ball reversal and BANG! the first of Timmy Hughes’ big shots. Tie game. Blue had a chance to recover and score for the win. They drew up the perfect play and…………CLUNK! Mark “O’Doyle Rules but not this time” missed a wide-open back door layup. Blue is scrambling and shook and before they get a chance to clear their heads………BAAAAAAANG! Timmy Hughes drills in his words, “a 360 spinning, double-pump, half-court heave with defenders draped all over him”, game-winner! Grey wins. Witt tantrums. End scene.
Team Black (minus Curtis) vs Team Pink:
This game was pretty much a non-story with the exception that the league finally got to bear witness to Wayne “LeBron Freight Train” Haynes. Wayne has only made appearances in open runs and such and has never graced Grinders with his presence in a real game. Wayne had 22 and 14 filling in for Creamer and May and also had Pink’s best GAPE. Not a bad debut. Black gave excellent effort and I for one liked their offensive scheme, but they just couldn’t get buckets. This team could look very different if everyone is there………
Week 3 Recap
Well ladies and gentlemen we finally had a game, at least a game that was close at the end. Though Pink vs Blue was not the prettiest of games (see Spurs/Pistons Finals) it was highly competitive. The same cannot be said for Black vs Grey. This game was supposed to be the one where Grey might have a chance……then Curt walked in. Speaking of walk-ins Jeff Superman May showed his face for the first time since his calves met kryptonite. There was a butt in the balcony, plenty of people to do stats and scoreboard, a bet honored, and more trash talking than all the weeks combined.
In lieu of full game recaps, please check the Mid-Season Grinders Awards.
Reg Dunlap Player/Coach Award: Team Pink – Chris Cole
Anyone that can keep that motley crew from self-destructing as well as lead his team to a 3-0 record without the services of Jeff May deserves the nod.
The Simon/Offensive Player of the Year: Team Black – Curt
Dude pulls up, walks in, doesn’t say a word, drops 39. Scary. Good luck stopping him.
The Nate/Defensive Player of the Year: Team Blue – Mike M.
When Mike digs in, you don’t score. There’s no one in the league he can’t guard.
Mid-season all Grinders team:
F/C: Grant
G/F: Curt
G/F: Witt
G/F: Creamer
Mid-season LVP – Team Grey – Tommy Hughes/Eric “Curt’s Little Cousin”
Get your -ish together boys. Too good to play like this.
Mid-season MVP – Team Black – Grant Decz
Best GAPE in the league…..need I say more?
Week 2 Winners & Losers
Winners:
1. Team Pink – the new 3-point line hasn’t benefited any team more. The pair of Creamer and Tirado even have a new nickname. If Steph and Klay are the “Splash Brothers”, these guys are the “Cash Cousins” cause they’re $$$$ from distance. Keep it up snipers.
2. Grant Decz. Yes his team lost……but his G.A.P.E. was magnificent this week (27pts. 21 rbs.) Monster game bro.
Losers:
1. The Stats – get off your asses, grab a beer (or 2), walk into the gym and keep stats or run the scoreboard/shot clock. No excuses. Shouldn’t be the same ass-hats each week that can’t count or push a button.
Week 1 Winners & Losers
Week 1 winners:
Eldridge Club – they’ve gained some new clientele.
Grinders hoopsters – able to Grind again……finally…….after a year hiatus.
Richie Creamer – somehow is LEADING Grinders in PPG at 21
Week 1 Losers:
Tommy Hughes – did more complaining about the court, backboard, randomizer, gravitational pull, roof height, basketball, rosters, and scenery than actual playing (5/21 shooting). Not a good look.
Mike Ford – the self-proclaimed Jeff May stopper was often heard at Glendale spouting, “If there was a square on the backboard I’d never miss a layup.” Well, there is at Eldridge and you missed SIX of ‘em. OUCH.
Week 1 Recap
WE’RE BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!! Week 1 went off without a hitch………..except for Cole breaking the scoreboard………….and AK47 showing up 25 minutes late. Anyways, it was great to get back and playing some games. We’re at a nice, new, remote location deep in the heart of basketball heaven (????). Well at least the drinks are cheap and the bar is attached. With the spread of “the Vid” our Grinders gladiators are fewer in number resulting in only having 4 teams this session. Meh, quality over quantity. Let’s get to the Week 1 review of our games.
Team Blue vs Team Grey (64-43 Blue)
This game was pretty much over about 8 minutes in. Blue looked energetic and excited to be there. Grey looked like their team color should be Brown. Blue got to almost every loose ball, hit the offensive glass hard, turned Grey over repeatedly, and frankly ran them out of the gym.
Pre-season Grinders MVP candidate Mike “too many L’s in my last name” Milicki did nothing to hurt the hype. Mike is considered by many to be the best player in the league and generally his stats bare that out. Mike had an easy 19/19/8/4 stat line dominating the game from start to finish. As a matter of fact the Grinders Analytics Player Estimation System (GAPES) had Mike rated at the most effective player from Week 1. Mike wasn’t a 1-man show though. The rest of the Blue Squad were pretty effective too. “The Franchise” Todd Nixon added 14 pts on over 50% shooting, Helmet kicked in 9 points including a Steph Curry range 3-ball, and Mark “O’Doyle Rules” had an efficient 10/4/3/2 game. Oh, and Witt played too contributing with his team’s worst shooting percentage (.285 on 6/21). Yikes.
You could tell Team Grey really hadn’t done a thing during “The Vid” except eat, drink, sleep…….and buy pants with elastic waists. I think I saw more bellies than basketballs. There was some legit pre-season hype around “Open Run” Vaillancourt transitioning his phenominal play to the regular season. That went about as well as playing leapfrog with a unicorn. During times in the game Vaillancourt was seen sucking wind and drinking a roadie instead of actually being on the court. AK47 made a dynamic return back to the Grinders scene after missing the better part of a decade. AK dropped 8 points and was the team’s best shooter. The man known as “E” was nowhere to be found. Frankly Team Grey needs E as his hot shooting and playmaking skills are a game changer. Eric Carlson was looking to make a name for himself in the Grinders game. Many an astute pundit thought he could be a dark horse for 1stteam Grinders honors. I’m not sure if you can play your way off of the all-Grinders team in a week, but he may have. 6/24 is just not going to cut it from a guy with that kind of talent. Right now he’s just Curt’s little cousin.
Team Pink vs Team Black (61-44 Pink)
This game was definitely the least interesting of the two, missing the stars and the cache of the first game. It played out like it too. The game was close early due to missed shots and turnovers. Pink was able to pull away mid-game and hold that lead for the rest of the game thanks to some big 3’s.
Off-season rumors swirled that former all-league performer Grant was in jeopardy of retiring. Team Black is thanking their lucky stars he didn’t Grant finished with a hefty 17/15 double-double and was GAPES 3rd highest rated player of week 1. Jon U. was very efficient shooting from the floor (8/16) but gave his team not much else. Team Black welcomed football/American football star Pauly J. into Grinders this year. Early on Pauly looked like it had been a while since he’s seen a basketball but like the dominant CrossFit athlete he is, adjusted and finished solidly with 7 boards and 6 assists (don’t look at his shooting line). I’m not sure Team Black knows what sport they’re playing as they have another guy who only uses his feet. Mike Benjamin (Worm) is back and is looking like his pretty self. I hope he continues to look good, cause his play was rusty……at best. Worm’s 2/9 shooting performance was a tough pill for Black to overcome. He did chip in (unlike Jon) with 7 rebounds, 2 assists, and 1 steal.
Team Pink is a powderkeg of hatred, anger, animosity, ego, and annoyance. The betting line on a major team blowup is set for week 4 (take the under). Richie hates Cole. Cole hates Richie. Richie hates Ford. Cole hates Ford. Ford “locks down” Jeff May. Jeff May knows Ford blows. Team ignores Ford. And then there’s Jon. Pink won for the mere fact that they lived by the “3-ball corner pocket”. When that shot isn’t falling, what will they do? My guess is keep chucking bricks and talking -ish. May God have mercy on their souls.