Twas the night before Christmas – Grinders 2022 edition

‘Twas the night before Christmas
and all I could hear on the court,
was screaming and shouting
Richie’s being a poor sport. 

The beer mugs were hung
At the bar with great care
Where Cole could be seen
Ripping out his hair.

The rest decided to sit
in the balcony instead
While dreams of championships 
Danced in their heads. 

Jon U. is on the sidelines
His teams don’t let him play. 
That just gives him more time
To pound a Southern Tier IPA. 

The parking lot at Eldridge
was filled with white snow. 
The only thing brighter?
Doyle’s skin all a glow. 

Vaillancourt plays “tough D”
He guards with a scowl
He can often be heard saying, 
“What’s a foul?”

We thought we saw Santa
on the roof, in his sleigh. 
That wasn’t Santa. 
It was none other than Jeff May!

The game was a blowout. 
Ford said with a smirk
“It’s about time for me 
to go to work.”

Skinny Peyton’s a new guy
Let’s not be absurd
All we want from him?
Say 1 freakin’ word

New guy Corey’s a beast
The paint is his house
I gotta tell you
That Bumble don’t bounce!

Another new guy
Has a dad body 
No one wins more
Than Michael Salvati

Tommy used to be good
Now he’s pretty ineffective
Maybe he should just stick
To sports card conventions

Speaking of used to’s
Here’s Chuck Thomasulo
If you draft him anymore
You must be a fool……….o

‘Lil Josh is a nuisance
Some might say a pest
He reminds me of Herbie
“I want to be a dentist.”

After the season was over
Captain E said with a grin,
“I thought I could draft
at least one freakin’ win!”

Ohhhhhhh poor Helmet,
always finishing in last. 
Lord knows we’ll hear,
“Oh %#@& my ass!!!”

Josh Lanzot’s a beast
in the lane, shooting “bunnies”. 
He even treats Christmas
like it’s 4/20. 

Mike G. is tall and
quiet, like a tree. 
All he says is a whisper,
“I’m the freaking MVP.”

Kellen changed his shoes
so he wouldn’t slip and fall. 
The sneakers worked but 
he still shoots AIR BALLS!!!!

Zach doesn’t know how
To shoot he just flicks
He acts like a tough guy
With arms like a stick. 

Tall Justin’s got talent
With his fake and his feints
You’re fucking 6 foot 6. 
Get in the paint!

On Donner, On Dasher
On Comet On Blitzen
Need a 3 for the ship?
Get Todd $&@?!#% Nixon!!!!

Curt wasn’t at Eldridge
He knows the way
I forgot it was playoffs
Curt’s M….I….A. 

Jon Tirado let’s it fly
He fits What’s a Pass
For as bad as he misses
You’d think he’d call glass. 

Mike Benjamin is pretty
I’d like to give him a rub
Dude even had the trophy
In his hot tub

Crazy Al is a vet
Him missing was a crime
He leads Grinders in points
Just from the baseline

Lil’ Cuz is real feisty
He tries to go to the rack
Don’t let him defend you
He’s the league’s worst hack. 

Don’t forget the Grinders OG’s. 
The greats from of old. 
Simon and Nate,
Hearn and Perrault

The games were all over, 
Witt said with a cry,
Merry Christmas to all
and “BALL DON’T LIE!!!!!!”

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