Kicking off the 2024 Fall Session, we saw two captains who decided to not show up and let their teams fend for themselves. In place of Gersitz/Ford and Garrett/Lanzot/Salvati, Wayne and Cole filled in respectively. Yawn snooze boring!

Team Gersitz just couldn’t find their rhythm, as E and Jeff May combined for 12/33 shooting, and 10 combined turnovers. Not ideal! New guy Bobby made his debut and dazzled with an 0/9 line and 5 airballs. Sub man Wayne tried his darndest, getting hot from behind the arc, but it was much too little and far too late. A very forgettable opener for the team that was heavily touted as a favorite post-draft, but hopefully Gersitz and Ford can return soon to get them into form.

Team Garrett just simply outshot and outperformed their opponents, getting open mid ranges and layups at will.  “Crazy” Al had his way with the soft defense, hitting his patented 10 foot jumpers at a stellar 52% clip. He ran circles around the very slow T eam Gersitz, and garnered 4 steals. The Real MVP Pauly P showed no signs of slowing down from last session, dropping 12 points, 14 rebounds, and 7 combined steals and blocks.  “Bang Bang” Jon Tirado hit 4 three-balls on 19 shots, but also added 5 assists. Submarine Cole shot 9/15 to the tune of a 20/10/6 stat line and a 30 GAPE. Hopefully next time these squads face off, they are at full strength and we can see a much more competitive game.

Fun Fact:

Neither “Captain” played in a game for first time in Grinder History (editors note: may or may not be true.  Nobody actually fact checked, but GAPE Chicken said it’s probably true.)

An early season meeting between 2 teams who could/should be involved in the semi-final story at the end of the season. Both teams were missing key components to their end-game. He Hate Me was missing league villain Tommy “Over the Hill” Hughes while Tall Justin was missing Richie “Bet on Black” Creamer and Mike “Shuge” Benjamin.

Tall Justin’s squad came out firing on all cylinders with Bryant the “Smooth Criminal” splashing (2) 3’s in Cole’s smug face as well as Tall Justin man-handling Wayne “Business Decisions” Haynes on the block and in the mid-range. The Tall Boys jumped out to a quick 9 point lead to start the game.

It was at that moment when “Lil” Josh decided to put his footprint on the game (and up the TallBoys’ arses). He picked Kellen “Stop It” Owen up full court and disrupted their offensive flow. “Lil” Josh wasn’t just a defensive specialist. He continued to splash jumper after jumper in the faces of the TallBoys and their “matador D”. Josh continued his desecration of his opponent further by using his patented pump fake to free himself for more jumpers to be splashed. At one point this reporter swears they saw him give Zach “I’m Retired” Newberry the finger as he flew by like a sheet of paper in the breeze, before laying one in and slapping the board. Not to be outdone, Mike “Charlie Hustle” Boccio picked up his defensive effort with a steal and coast to coast layup. Boccio channelled his inner Rodman and gobbled up offensive rebound after offensive rebound as the He Hate Me offense took advantage of the extra possessions.

The game started to look like a runaway but the veteran TallBoys team mounted a furious comeback led by a Kellen 3 and a plethora of Bryant layup on a hapless Cole and the low-post game of Newberry. He Hate Me was able to rally and turn up the defensive intensity (also known as “No blood no foul”), stop the scoring run, and pull away late.

Highlights from the game:
“Lil” Josh: 6/13, 13/5/2/2
Boccio’s hustle: 6/4/3 (reb/ast/stl)
Newberry: Hero Baller of the Week
Cole: Guy of the Week

Lowlights:
Bryant getting punked in front of his “loved ones” in the rafters
Tallboys’ shooting percentage (31%)
He Hate Me decision making: 13 TO’s

Opening week’s grand finale saw the not-so-triumphant return of Pauly J and Jon Witt to the Eldredge courts, along with the legendary Grant Decz, who apparently decided to play basketball for something to do. Team Peyton was all set to exploit Team Curtis’ roster of rehab veterans and prove that Captain Tenneal’s season preview was just a load of baloney.

Old Man Jon kicked things off with a “jumper” that actually went in, and from that point, Team Curtis was playing catch-up like a dog chasing its tail. Captain Peyton was on fire, shooting 11-24 for 22 points before deciding to audition for the Harlem Globetrotters with some wild shots from downtown, much to the horror of his senior teammates. He also snagged 10 rebounds for a double-double. Grant “Pardon Me” Decz, despite running out of steam towards the end, managed his own double-double (16/14) and even swatted away three of Curtis Masich’s layup attempts. Yes, you read that right – first game in years and Grant’s already in beast mode. OMJ and Chuck T combined for 9/19, with Chuck hitting a ludicrous 5/10 from three-point land. Team Peyton’s win was never in doubt as they collectively shot 42.4% for the evening.

Meanwhile, Team Curtis looked like they were playing a game of “Who Can Miss More?” Mythic WAPers Curtis and Jon Witt didn’t meet a shot they didn’t like. Jon “Traveling Man” Witt was a respectable 11/24 for 22 points, but Curtis could only muster 17 points off a disappointing 8/21 shooting. Paul J was shaking off more rust than an old lawnmower and struggled with his shot all night.  Cory Muldowney was matched up against Peyton, OMJ, and Chuck – who combined still give up 30lbs to the full-figured big man.  Captain Curtis must have missed that mismatch memo though, as Cory only managed 5 shots and was made completely irrelevant.  That and… Chuck T completely handled him down low.  Be better Team Curtis.

Fun Fact:

Curtis is shooting 38.1% for the season.

OMJ is shooting better than Curtis.
Peyton is shooting better than Curtis.
Grant is shooting better than Curtis.
Chuck is shooting better than Curtis.