Twas the night before Grinders Christmas, and all through the gym,
Not a player was stirring, the lights were all dim.
The jerseys were hung in the lockers with care,
In hopes that the championship soon would be there.

The players were nestled, all snug in their beds,
While visions of step-backs danced in their heads.
With Pauly P meditating, so calm in the night,
And Salvati still covering his ears from the fright.

When out on the court, there arose such a clatter,
Richie destroyed a chair—it just couldn’t matter.
Wayne’s shoulders collided, creating a scene,
While Crazy kept running like a well-oiled machine.

The moon on the rim of the freshly waxed floor,
Lit up Big Josh chasing Little Josh once more.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Bryant with 100 shots—and not a single fear.

With a flopper named Witt, so lively and quick,
And Cole smack-talking with his usual shtick.
“Now Chuck! Now Tirado! Now, Peyton and Zack!
On, Justin! On Garrett! Bring the girls right back!”

“To the top of the key! To the arc where we shoot!
Now hustle and dive, before the buzzer’s salute!”
And there stood Jon U, ready for a brawl,
As he tackled poor Tommy like a wrecking ball.

At the laundromat, Gersitz folded his gear,
While Ford sipped spiked milkshakes, spreading some cheer.
Matt V stayed in Baltimore, missing the game,
And Nixon hit Vegas, adding flair to his name.

Kellen knelt low, one knee on the ground,
While Grant stayed so quiet, not making a sound.
Curtis missed playoffs, yet again unclutch.
And Pauly J returned with that veteran touch.

Chuck was chucking threes, with reckless delight,
While Hall of Fame E dished assists all night.
Zack yelled at everyone, keeping them straight,
While Garrett’s girl cheered, arriving fashionably late.

Then the horn blew loudly, and Salvati ducked low,
Team Cole took the title, the show of all shows.
But as they celebrated, a truth came to light,
The Grinders will be back to keep up the fight.

So here’s to the chaos, the laughs, and the fun,
Merry Grinders to all—see you for the next one!

Here’s what our esteemed beat-writer Captain Tenneal had to say after the draft this season:

Tall-Justin: Should reach the semis (in semis)

Team Peyton: fighting for play in game (finished 2nd, in semis)

Team Gersitz: easy path to semis, possible finals. (Lost play-in)

Team Garrett: Fight to make play-in game (finished 1st, in semis)

Team Curtis: Play-in game or semis (lol)

Team Cole: semis, battling to make Finals

In typical Grinder Beat Writer fashion… NAILED IT!

Quick Preview of tonight’s games:

1 Garrett vs Tall Justin 5

Team Garrett takes on play-in game winner Tall Justin.  Tall Justin is coming off an absolutely dominant performance last week, 14/18 (3/4 FT – put him in the HOF), 32 points, 11 boards, 39 GAPE and a Game Score of 122.3!  This team is not your typical 5th seed – playing more like a top-tier team since the return of Richie “Will Work for Food” Creamer.  KO on defense, Zach on defense, Bryant The Grinder… the team slays.

Garrett wins by 7.

3 Cole vs Peyton 2

The season series between these two squads ended in Team P winning by 2, and by 1 in the season finale.  That last game, by the way, was an exemplary example of gentlemanly play.  Just 9 dudes having a fun time and shooting some friendly hoops.  It’s what Grinders is all about.  Or something like that.  

Will Team Cole solve Team Peyton?  Unclear – these have been the most evenly matched games all season.  Grant and Wayne have been unstoppable.  Peyton and Chuck have been shooting lights out, and Chris Cole has been his usual top-notch self.  Tommy continually does Tommy stuff.  Will it come down to the 4th guy on each team?  Or which of the top 6 guys are going to win it for their team?

This one ends in another close one.  Team Cole by 1.

YE\aah, I still work here…

Vic Romano

Well well! After working tirelessly for 4 weeks, your Grinders HQ beat writers (and GAPE Chicken) took a well-earned week off. Turns out this beat writer is the only one who got the return to work memo! If you were itching to read up on our thoughts about Week 5, keep itching! I barely even remember anyways. But sit back, relax, and witness the glorious Week 6 Review.

GarrettCole 10/23/2024 46 - 58 Full Time

Results

Team	Air	3PM	FGM	FGA	FG%	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TO	TmGAPE	T	Outcome
Garrett	5	4	21	68	0.309	28	8	6	2	4	34	46	Loss
Cole	1	5	26	61	0.426	42	21	1	5	11	79	58	Win

A much anticipated match up between the current top 2 seeds! Team Garrett looked utterly dominant up to this point, while Team Cole was still trying to find its identity. Well they may have found it, and its name is Wayne. Just an absolute evisceration of Team G-Spot’s “defense” to the tune of 34 points on 60% shooting. Wayne’s 39 GAPE was more than Garrett’s whole team combined. Cole had his own very respectable GAPEage, with 26 despite only 6 points. 14 rebounds and 11 assists will do. Tommy may have shook off some rust from his slow start as he turned in a neat little 8/6/5 line. Josh and Boccio played too. An emphatic statement was made in this one, and if Wayne’s back doesn’t give out from all the carrying he did, you should never count this team out of the running. As for Team Garrett, well, it’s not hard to see what went wrong in this one. Their captain held his own, shooting 9/20 and had 0 turnovers. Al continued to be a midrange menace with 17 points.  And then there was the other 4. Tirado: 2/11. Lanzot 0/7. Pauly P? 1/10. Salvati saved the team’s percentage by going 50% (½). 9 points from 4 players?? That is not the objective of the sport, people! Just uncharacteristic ineptitude from the 1 seed in this one. And also complete disinterest in getting a hand in Wayne’s face as he continued to splash from three. Maybe this week these guys will feel like playing for realsies or something. Fun Fact: Team Cole admitted postgame to not asking for consent whilst pummeling Team Garrett. Also one captain called the other captain a fruit of sorts. (Loosely paraphrased.)

• Box Score

Garrett

Player	FTM	FTA	FT%	Air	3PM	FGM	FGA	FG%	EFG%	PTS	REB	DReb	OReb	AST	STL	BLK	TO	GAPE	GmScore
Al Derrico	0	0	0	0	1	8	18	0.444	0.472	17	4	0	0	0	0	0	1	10	51.1
Garrett Beesing	0	0	0	2	2	9	20	0.450	0.500	20	6	0	0	2	1	2	0	18	71.3
Jon Tirado	0	0	0	1	1	2	11	0.182	0.227	5	3	0	0	3	0	0	2	-1	24.2
Josh Lanzot	0	0	0	1	0	0	7	0.000	0.000	0	3	0	0	0	0	0	1	-6	2.5
Mike Salvati	0	0	0	0	0	1	2	0.500	0.500	2	1	0	0	0	2	0	0	4	26.7
Paul Palombo	0	0	0	1	0	1	10	0.100	0.100	2	11	0	0	3	3	0	0	9	47.0

Cole

Player	FTM	FTA	FT%	Air	3PM	FGM	FGA	FG%	EFG%	PTS	REB	DReb	OReb	AST	STL	BLK	TO	GAPE	GmScore
Chris Cole	0	0	0	0	0	3	7	0.429	0.429	6	14	0	0	11	0	1	2	26	86.3
Josh Morcelle	0	0	0	0	0	3	9	0.333	0.333	6	2	0	0	1	0	0	1	2	27.5
Mike Boccio	0	0	0	1	0	2	10	0.200	0.200	4	7	0	0	1	0	0	3	0	24.1
Tommy Hughes	0	2	0.000	0	0	4	12	0.333	0.333	8	6	0	0	5	1	2	2	12	55.4
Wayne Haynes	1	2	0.500	0	5	14	23	0.609	0.717	34	13	0	0	3	0	2	3	39	114.4

GersitzPeyton 10/23/2024 53 - 51 Full Time

Results

Team	Air	3PM	FGM	FGA	FG%	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TO	TmGAPE	T	Outcome
Gersitz	4	2	25	64	0	34	14	5	7	8	61	53	Win
Peyton	3	5	23	73	0.315	25	6	5	2	5	31	51	Loss

One aspect of this matchup not talked about enough was the presence of our newest Grinder, Bobby. Well this beat writer does not simply look at the box score, no no. I mean sure, 8 points and 11 boards with a 14 GAPE, you’d look at that and say wow, a career game for the new guy!  But if you were to say that, then you didn’t truly witness the authority in which Bobby scored those 8 points. Reverse lays, finishing through contact, hustling for boards, jumping over taller people, my goodness. He was just exuding aura the whole 40 minutes, and I envy that. Some other things of note include “E” dropping 12/6/5 on 62% shooting! A very solid effort, overshadowed by Jeff May’s near-30 shot performance, which netted him 19 points, caring not for the stifling defense of Chuck/Ben. Ford contributed little offensively but did grab himself 9 rebounds and a block. Captain Gersitz opted not to shoot much, only tallying 9 attempts and 10 points, but oh man. I would be remiss if I did not bring up one of the most riveting Grinders sequences in recent memory. Grant ran the fastbreak and thought he had a nice easy layup over Bobby. But LeGersitz stuffed him with a chase down, and the rest is history. Grant gets the rebound, puts it up again, BLOCKED. 4 straight blocks on the same guy, in the same possession. Chaos in the gym ensued. Mind you, Grant is no small fella. He would get him a 5th time later in the game, absolutely crushing his confidence. The score may have been settled by only 2 points, but the game sure felt over after that tantalizing display.

Perfect segue into Team Peyton’s performance: Grant, usually very calm and controlled, went and shot 29 times after the humiliation at the hands of Gersitz. People will remember the big moment, but a 24/8 stat line is nothing to laugh at. Captain Peyton finally shot under 50%, but delivered 10 points and 6 rebounds, while also delivering a revenge block on Gersitz for the crimes he committed against his star teammate. Chuck dropped 11 points, only connecting on 3 three balls, as his 4th make was shockingly a layup! Ben had a rough go, only sinking 3 of his 15 attempts, but did grab 9 rebounds and 3 steals. Not the best effort from this top 3 team, as they were in yet another game decided by one score – this time on the losing end. We’ll see if they can rebound this week against the 1-5 Team Curtis ………….

• Box Score

Gersitz

Player	FTM	FTA	FT%	Air	3PM	FGM	FGA	FG%	EFG%	PTS	REB	DReb	OReb	AST	STL	BLK	TO	GAPE	GmScore
Bobby Kendrick	0	0	0	0	0	4	12	0.333	0.333	8	11	0	0	2	1	0	0	14	60.4
Eric Boerdner	0	0	0	1	2	5	8	0.625	0.750	12	6	0	0	5	2	0	5	16	65.8
Jeff May	1	2	0.500	2	0	9	29	0.310	0.310	19	3	0	0	0	0	1	1	-1	41.3
Mike Ford	0	0	0	0	0	2	6	0.333	0.333	4	9	0	0	3	0	1	2	11	46.8
Mike Gersitz	0	0	0	1	0	5	9	0.556	0.556	10	5	0	0	4	2	5	0	21	75.0

Peyton

Player	FTM	FTA	FT%	Air	3PM	FGM	FGA	FG%	EFG%	PTS	REB	DReb	OReb	AST	STL	BLK	TO	GAPE	GmScore
Ben Sears	0	0	0	0	0	3	15	0.200	0.200	6	9	0	0	3	3	0	3	6	46.9
Chuck Thomasulo	0	0	0	1	3	4	13	0.308	0.423	11	2	0	0	1	1	0	0	5	40.9
Grant Decz	0	0	0	1	2	11	29	0.379	0.414	24	8	0	0	1	0	0	1	13	67.5
Peyton Urbaniak	0	0	0	1	0	5	16	0.313	0.313	10	6	0	0	1	1	2	1	7	47.2

Tall JustinCurtis 10/23/2024 47 - 41 Full Time

Results

Team	Air	3PM	FGM	FGA	FG%	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TO	TmGAPE	T	Outcome
Tall Justin	3	5	21	58	0.362	37	7	2	8	11	50	47	Win
Curtis	5	1	20	65	0.308	27	12	8	6	5	39	41	Loss

Wait, this game was only decided by 6 points? It sure didn’t feel like it. Team Justin stymied the Team Curtis “offense,” of course consisting of only Curtis and Jon Witt. Bryant had 3 blocks, guarding Curtis for most of the game, and shot 50% on 16 (!!) shots. “Sub” led the team in GAPE with 24, with 18 points and 18 rebounds. Pretty good I guess. KO led the team in shots surprisingly, and also apparently had 4 blocks as well! (GAPE Chicken Note – Whatever, Vic).  Zach was too busy “fouling” Curtis and chirping at the sideline refs to score any points. Not too many more notes here, I’m still just shocked that they only won by 6.

Team Curtis, where do I begin? I know: how about the fact that 54 of the team’s 65 shots came from two guys? Curtis and Witt both tried their hardest to will their heaves into the basket, but it just wasn’t happening, and it was a little sad to watch. 8/28 for the Captain, 8/26 for Witt. Both also ended with 8 GAPE and a spot on the WAP board. Paul J and T odd were shell shocked when the ball (sparingly) hit their hands, as both ended with just 4 points apiece. They did lead the team in GAPE with 12 and 11 respectively. This team could be frisky if their shots start falling at a more reasonable rate. Will that ever happen? I don’t know, I’m just a reporter… this outing must have made the team not want to play anymore, as they will have to forfeit this week’s game against Team Peyton. Saving face? Scared cowards? Who am I to say?

• Box Score

Tall Justin

Player	FTM	FTA	FT%	Air	3PM	FGM	FGA	FG%	EFG%	PTS	REB	DReb	OReb	AST	STL	BLK	TO	GAPE	GmScore
Bryant Brown	0	0	0	0	0	8	16	0.500	0.500	16	9	0	0	1	0	3	2	19	71.0
Kellen Owen	0	0	0	2	3	5	21	0.238	0.310	13	6	0	0	1	0	4	1	5	51.0
Zach Newberry	0	0	0	0	0	0	4	0.000	0.000	0	4	0	0	2	1	1	2	2	15.0
Sub	0	0	0	1	2	8	17	0.471	0.529	18	18	0	0	3	1	0	6	24	85.0

Curtis

Player	FTM	FTA	FT%	Air	3PM	FGM	FGA	FG%	EFG%	PTS	REB	DReb	OReb	AST	STL	BLK	TO	GAPE	GmScore
Curtis Masich	0	0	0	2	0	8	28	0.286	0.286	16	10	0	0	1	2	2	1	8	63.8
Jon Witt	0	0	0	1	1	8	26	0.308	0.327	17	3	0	0	5	1	4	3	8	59.5
Paul Johnson	0	0	0	1	0	2	8	0.250	0.250	4	10	0	0	2	3	0	0	12	51.1
Todd Nixon	0	0	0	1	0	2	3	0.667	0.667	4	4	0	0	4	2	0	1	11	50.0