13 seconds?!?!?!? 13 seconds?!?!?!?!!?!? Just freaking sick………. Not much of a recap this week due to a broken heart and an empty feeling in my body. Just freaking ugh!

As per usual, Ford and Curt were MIA. It’s a Wednesday league boys. Feel free to show up. Oh and hey, we have Twitter now!

• @GrindersBBall

---

Dadbod does the Shamgod vs Handsome Eunuch’s

So I guess here’s the game-flow. Shamgod comes out on fire and leads early 16-4. The Ken-dolls weather the storm and lead 22-20 at half. The Handsome boys go on a run to start the second half and take a 14 point lead. Dadbods try and rally over the last 4 minutes and cut the lead to 3, but never get even or ahead. Handsome Boys win.

For all of you Cole-haters out there, this would have been the game to be at. That fat slob was…..wait for it…….4 of 25!!!!! He missed 21 freaking shots. The best part is that Justin left him wide open and he kept missing. I heard Vaillancourt was in his glory heckling Cole. Some even said it got XXX rated at certain points. Not only did Cole suck on the offensive end, but Justin lit him up like a Christmas tree in the second half. Dude got exposed on both ends. $31????…. nah. Captain,,,,,,, nah. Bench this clown.

Heroic individual performances as follows:
Fabio hair school:
Justin: 22/12
Bobby: 15 pts – (3) 3’s
Old Man Jon: 10/10 including bustin a J cap in Cole’s face and taunting him all the way down the court – CLASSIC GRINDERS MOMENT!

Dadbod Uses the Shamwow
Witt: 16 pts (hot first half)
Newbs: 9/14, 50% shooting, led team in GAPE

---

Hi-Liter vs I’ve Got My Stye-Eye on You

I heard this game went into double OT and was a Grinder’s classic……not because of the execution, but in true Grinders fashion, no one tried to actually win the game. Hi-Liter was missing their captain and boy it showed. No organization whatsoever. Stye-Eye was missing Toddy “F’n” Nixon who, if there, would have won the game on a jumper at the buzzer at least 3 times (all in Gersitz’s face).

Pauly J. tried to lose the game in regulation, turning it over when he didn’t even need to pass it. The turnover led to a breakout and a “First Ballot Hall of Famer” Eric Boerdner bank shot to tie it at the buzzer (Nixon would have hit the 3 to win, just sayin’). The game went into overtime where I heard, again, no one wanted to win. Each team exchanged bricks and turnovers (Nixon would’ve dropped 12 in the extra frame, just sayin’). Onto double overtime! A classic game like this could only be ended in classic fashion…..one basket……total. My god! Gersitz hit a “J” with a minute left and that was it. Hi-Liter didn’t get Pink Eyed by the Stye-Eyes.

Heroic individual performances were as follows:
Hi-Liters:
Gersitz – 23/12/7
Haynes – 23/16 (more shots than an Uzi)
Pauly J – 16 boards

Stye-Eye:
Milicki – 19 boards
Doyle – 25 pts
E – 18 pts, buzzer beater to go to OT
Tirado – 13 boards

---

On to week whatever it is cause no one shows up and people keep switching games times and dates. Isn’t there a schedule on the site. Maybe we should FUCKING FOLLOW IT for once.

Get off my lawn!

Initial Championship Odds……….Straight from Vegas (and Cole’s loud mouth at the bar), here are your odds to win the title:

Team	Captain	Odds
Hi-Liters	Tommy	3:1
Hoops I Did It Again	Curt	7:1
Handsome Boy Modeling School	Justin	12:1
Dadbod Does The Shammgod	Cole	15:1
Team Mike	Mike M.	28:1
Team Ford	Mike F.	LOL

Draft Winners:

Curt came away with great team balance and depth, not paying more than $20 for any player. Strategy or accident?????

Tall Justin came away with guard after guard after guard after speed after speed after speed. They could be VERY hard to guard. Side bet of regular season wins is set at 5.5. Bobby from team Justin. This dude is what this league is fucking about. He paid his club membership and bought a mug before stepping on the freaking court, days ahead of the open run, before anyone even knew his name. Kudos to you new guy. Buy this man a beer.

Draft Losers:

Every draft has it’s Eli Manning/Chargers draft moment. This draft was no different. In this case it was Richie Creamer throwing a temper-tantrum and storming out of the gym after being selected by Mike Ford. It was really one of those, “You have to be there.” moments. It was a combination of someone finding out their dog died and their wife cheated on them at the same time.

Chris Cole spent $13 on……..KELLEN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? WTF?!?!?!?! was Cole thinking. Kellen spent most of last season averaging a negative GAPE. Blackmail? Dirty photos? Golf jealousy? Whatever Kellen has over Cole is strong ’cause……bruh……. $13…….for………Kellen. Almost as bad as $31 for Cole last session.

Not a winner or loser, but a head-scratcher:The Mel Kipers and Todd McShays of the world were wondering what Mike Maliki was doing on draft night. It wasn’t so much a question of the talent he drafted, but of how those pieces will fit together. Only time will tell I guess.

Stay tuned for next week’s e-mail from Grinders HQ. I hear they are cooking up something very……..poetic.

No game reviews this week. With playoffs approaching I thought this would be more fun or appropriate. My version of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

Top of the Heap:

These team(s) are at the top of the league and have the best chance of winning the coveted GRINDERS championship:

Team Richie: Team Richie is sitting in first place at 6-2 and holds the tie-breaker on the second place team (Witt). Chances are GOOD they finish as the 1-seed. This team is pretty BAD when it comes to ball movement. It seems like either Richie or Curt bring the ball up and shoot. Their last 2 games have been UGLY. They’re arguing, complaining, tantruming, all while going 0-2. Did they peak too early???

Team Witt: Team Witt is in second place and has a shot to claim the 1-seed with a good final 2 weeks. Their play as of late has been more than GOOD. They’ve won 5 in a row after starting 0-2. The only way Witt spending $31 on Cole can be described is BAD money management. We’re not saying Cole isn’t a good player, but he certainly isn’t worth that amount. The Team Witt defense has been making other team’s offenses look UGLY. Team Witt has the best defense in the league statistically.

Middle of the Pack:

These are good teams that just haven’t hit full stride, but can beat anyone on a given Wednesday in the GRINDERS dungeon.
Team Ford: They sit in 3rd place, with arguably the best player in the league (no, not you Ford). Out of the Middle of the Pack teams, they have a GOOD chance at earning a bye. The schedule shake out has them in control of their playoff seeding. The shooting percentages of said best player is BAD. When you’re that guy, you have to be more efficient. The schedule has been favorable to Team Ford mostly because of his non-stop requests. Requesting every week is an UGLY look for the team and the league. BE BETTER.

Team KO: Team Kellen is in a tie for the 4th seed. They’ve been a little up and down this season, but are trending up currently with a GOOD win vs, Team Ford. They have the other guy who could be considered the best player in the league and an interesting cast of role players. The BAD for this team is their offense when and if Jimmy isn’t being Jimmy. Can those other role players step up and lead their team if Jimmy isn’t walking on water? Finally, have you seen Kellen’s new sneakers????? FUGLY.

Team Tommy: Tied for 4th place but capable of beating anyone. The GOOD has to be Mike G. His GAPE is more than GOOD, it’s freaking great! The only guy that can stop Mike is Mike….maybe the most efficient player in GRINDERS history. The BAD for this team is their seeding. We here at GRINDERS HQ had this team as a pre-season finals team. Not living up to expectations…….yet. The UGLY is simply Tommy Hughes’ game. This guy used to be a walking triple-double. Now he’s just walking, and at the butt of Richie’s jokes.

The FCS: Next year boys.Team E. is currently the only winless team in GRINDERS so it’s a GOOD thing that everyone makes the playoffs. This team has a nice collection of people who can score and do damage. The reason they’re 0-fer is their BAD defense. If they put the effort into their D that they put into jacking up shots, they could have the ability to make some noise in the playoffs. The UGLY are the punishment ideas going around the league should Team E go winless. I’ve heard naked laps. I’ve heard about a bar tab on them for the rest of the league. I’ve heard of a ketchup/mustard shower at the Eldridge Club. Boys, don’t let that -ish happen to you.

Closer and closer we move towards playoffs. More and more we find out who is rising to the top and who is already looking towards next year. Onto the recaps…..

People don’t feel like showing up and doing stuff……. neither do I. Here’s your week in review:

6:30 gameTeam Witt 60 – Team E 44

7:30 gameTeam KO 54 – Team Ford 46

8:30 gameTeam Witt 50 – Team KO 30

Piss off league.

Great news Grinders! I’m back from a mostly successful emergency penis surgery – and am pumped to share my zany wit with you, my fellow Grinders. Let’s goooooooooo!!!!!!!

Two of the games this week were snoozers, blowouts, boat races if you will. One of the games was much more competitive, even if the quality of the offenses wasn’t quite up to snuff. Without further ado…….