Recap

7:30 Team Fordner 56 vs Team MV Palombo 65
“The Battle of the Big Guys.” “The Return of Mr. 47.” “Supporting cast Scuffle.” These are all titles that this game could have had. Instead, the only “big guys” that showed up were Ford and Gersitz and Mr. 47 looked more like Mr. 4.7. Alas, onto the game.

It looked like Team Fordner was looking to feature Zach “DIVA Skyhook” Newberry on the block as the key cog to their offensive gameplan. Newbs was able to dominate Justin “Achilles Heel” Gerardi in the post. Newbs went 7/12 for 14 points down low. He also bullied his way to 10 rebounds on the much, much, smaller defender. In fact the self-proclaimed “DIVA of Destruction” beat up poor defenseless Helmet so badly that a double team was brought on every touch. This allowed Zach to collect a tidy 5 assists, many of them to Mike “They Better Not Leave Me Open” Ford. Mr. “I Travel for Work” had himself a game (and a spiked milkshake after). Ford dropped 27 on his defenseless counterparts on 11/21 shooting, including a career-high (5) 3’s. With those kind of numbers, Team Fordener should have ran out to an easy win……except they let Cole and E touch the ball. Cole and E combined for a pathetic 7/30 shooting performance with only (1) 3 pointer made. At certain points of the game Gersitz wasn’t even covering Cole, and allowing him to shoot. It was that bad.

Team MVPalombo welcomed back former league superstar Mike “My Neck and My Back” Malicki. Malicki must have caught whatever shooting virus that plagued E and Cole as his return was quite lackluster. Malicki went 2/15 and had a -8 GAPE. Not the return he wanted, but it was good to see him on the court again. Luckily for their squad former DADBOD great Mike “Cobra” Salvati stepped up to the plate and delivered big time. Salvati slithered his way to 16 points on a scorching 8/11 shooting performance. He also chipped in with 5 boards, 1 assist, and 1 steal. Captain P. toyed with the awful defense in front of him and almost had a triple-double (10/12/8). “P” picked up right where he left off on his quest for back to back MVP’s.

Speaking of heroic efforts, we’d like to bring back the exploits of one Justin “Warpath” Gerardi. With Ford playing “velcro-like” defense Helmet decided to remind everyone about his personal line of posters that he gives out. First he splashed a 3 right in Ford’s 8 chins. Second, he hit a pull-up J in Ford’s eye. Lastly, he out ran Ford on a fast-break, took off from the bottom of the circle, and finger-rolled one of the most beautiful layups Grinders has ever seen. In a fit of jealousy, Ford placed one of his travel pamphlets on the court behind Helmet, causing a banana peel situation. Helmet slipped and partially tore his achilles. Speedy recovery sir!

While we speak of exploits, we must retrace our steps to DIVA Newberry. Newbs used to be one of Grinder’s best defenders. Now that he is being used as a go-to scorer, he has apparently decided to only play on that end. Mike “Starch Your Whites” Gersitz lit up Newberry like a J on 4/20. Gersitz had a league high 38 GAPE with a 27/11/6/2/2 stat line on 60% shooting. Maybe he figured out the trick to bustin’ Newbs or maybe Newbs, in his new role, layed down like a paid lady of the eve. You be the judge.

Fun facts from the game:
Ford’s 27 points are a career high. As are his 5 three’s.
Ford gave up more than 27 from all the people he “guarded.”
Team Fordener (0-2) could be the first team in Grinders history not to qualify for the postseason.