Recap
Surely The Eskimos will be kicking themselves over this one. Despite being brutally terrible at winning basketball games, this was their opportunity to flip the script, even without their captain Worm. The MotherChuckers were down their two big men, Malicki and Jeff May, and the gameplan was simple – feast in the paint all game long and cruise to victory. It seemed almost too easy, and in the first half, it was that easy! Ford and Joe took turns having their way with de-facto center Peyton down low, who weighs approximately 100 pounds less than the both of them. Eskimo Brothers were up by like 15 points, but then a stroke of genius struck the depleted Chuck Squad – double team Ford with someone even smaller than Peyton! Brilliant! Ford became flustered as he was mugged by dwarves down low, and Joe said “fuck that shit” and never saw the paint again. Way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, fellas. Ford’s 18 points and 10 rebounds were not nearly enough to hold the lead, as every other Eskimo Bro failed to score in the double digits. Boccio made up for Malicki’s absence by shooting 3/16, and Paul and Joe combined for a GAPE of 5. If this team crumbled in these conditions, it is almost a foregone conclusion that they are destined to bring great shame the rest of the way.
As for We Chuck on the 1st Date, they started off looking lost without their top two shot-takers. It was small ball gone horribly wrong, as no one seemed interested in making shots or playing defense. After being relentlessly bullied by Ford and Joe and all of the other Grinders spectating, Peyton turned in a solid showing, with 16 points, 11 rebounds and 6 assists. Naturally, he was still disappointed after the game finding out he “only” shot 40% from the field. Captain Chuck drilled 5 threes to go along with 5 assists, Mike Salvati continued to fulfill his thankless role of shooting extremely well and doing the dirty work by getting steals and blocks, and flustering the other team. Truly their sub Tommy was the star of the show, but of course we do not count nor acknowledge that. Maybe this will be the game that turns things around for this underperforming squad.
