6:30 – Don’t call me Curt vs. Team BDE: 38-54

The night’s first game featured a battle of the top two teams in the standings after week 7.  First place Team Gersitz vs second place Team WAP, who entered the week on a three game winning streak.  WAP Captain Curtis “I Heart WaR” Masich hadn’t hesitated to let people know his team was on fire, and boasted that they were probably the best team in the league.  The question of the week was, is Curtis right?  Or, is this team the Miami Dolphins of Grinders… score a lot of points – against the bottom feeder teams, but fold vs the big boys.

Team Urbaniak played yet another game without league stalwart Mike “Captain” Gersitz, who had to work or pull it or whatever it is he does when he isn’t dominating hapless Grinders.  OMJ and his crew of younger fellas also played without depth player Worm Benjamin – who had scheduling conflicts. On paper, this undersized squad looked like an easy opponent for Team Curtis, especially with no subs, extra-especially in Curtis’ fantasyland.  But, nah.  The opposite happened.  Peyton was unleashed to be the go-to man.  Curtis and his squad of guys who don’t get to shoot much chose to play ZONE in an effort to slow the young man down – which they were able to do (Peyton finished 4/15 for 8 points and 5 GAPE).  Great.  Nice work, Team Curtis.  However – Al, Garrett, and OMJ combined for a sizzling 50% shooting from the floor, dropping open shot after open shot.  Al shot 58.8%, had 20/5 and 20 GAPE – just stellar. OMJ, with IPA coursing through his veins, shot 4/7 and held Joe Marie to a measly 10 points down low.  Garrett had 18/17/6 and a strong 29 GAPE.  Maybe play some actual defense Curtis!

Speaking of defense… Team Urbaniak absolutely put the clamps on Captain Curtis and his team of innocent bystanders.  Curtis, who shot 28 times and led the league in WAP (naturally) could never get into a rhythm.  Garrett Beesing was in his face the majority of the game, and Peyton finished him out at the end, altering shot after shot.  Sad Curtis, who is shooting 41.9% for the season, was held to just 28.6% for the night.  That’s not very good.  But wait, aren’t their other guys on the team, you ask?  Oh yeah – forgot about them (just like Curtis!).  They shot almost as many air balls as baskets made.  Invisible Ben was held to 2-8 FG.  Joe Marie was 5/18 and had a double-double, but on a disappointing 27.8% shooting.  “30 Disgusting Seconds” of Josh was out there for… about 30 seconds.  Boccio the Grinder, the only Grinder worth a damn in this game for Team Curtwuss, had a couple steals and led the team on 37.5% shooting.  These guys were so scared of playing man on Peyton that they quickly went back to zone after a short time in man coverage – despite the absolute blitzkrieg being dropped from the floor by Al and company.

With this convincing 54-38 trouncing, Team Urbaniak stays in first by a couple of games, despite the leagues best all-around player missing all but 3 of their matches. This team proved that they can win no matter who the go-to guy is. Peyton?  Garrett?  Crazy?  Gersitz?  Old Man Jon?  Worm and his 8% shooting? (thats not a joke – check out his performance for Team Gersitz so far) Doesn’t matter.

Sad Curtis, after being exposed once again by a good team, fell to 3rd place. After their inevitable upcoming trouncing against Team Cole in week 9, Curtis will cement the number 3 seed. At least they will get to play one of those “scrub” teams in the playoffs, setting the stage for another glorious flameout in the post season.

Fun Fact: Old Man Jon and Curtis are both shooting 41%.

7:30 – Richie and Famous vs. MAYbe I’ll Play: 73-48

One of biggest offseason stories was Captain Cole’s unique draft strategy – selecting the very hit-or-miss duo of Chuck and Jon Tirado, in addition to dropping a cool $22 on Richie, who didn’t make his session debut until 9 weeks in (technically more because of reschedules and holidays). If I were to only show you Chris Cole’s box score, you’d probably say “Wow! He only shot 5 times? Only 3 boards as well? Dude must’ve been getting bullied! 9 assists though? Classic Cole being carried.” You might also say some more vulgar and inhumane things about our favorite villain, likely weight-related… but the tale of the tape in this one was that everybody was dialed in and making it rain from all over the court. Poor Pauly P tried as hard as he could to carry his (I mean Jeff May’s) team, but they simply could not get a stop. It was an onslaught – Chuck had 15, Tirado went for 18 with only 6 of those being from distance, and Wayne hit 3 trifectas of his own and made the much smaller opposition suffer down low with an astounding 23 points and 16 rebounds, tallying a 33 GAPE. As a team the Cole Miners shot 44% from the field, a number that could’ve been over .500 if Richie wasn’t so very dusty and rusty. Although I must concede, 10/11/6 with 3 steals really is pretty solid for a debut after a many month stint at rehab.

As for the Mayflowers, well, you tried your best. I can’t remember the last time they had their whole team present, but it was the same story we’ve seen over the last few weeks. Bryant took his mandated 30 attempts and finished with 14 points against a -4 GAPE. Salvati played his vintage grit and grind ball, finishing 6/7/7 but really struggled to contain both Tirado and Chuck on the perimeter. Peyton continued his iron man streak of subbing and perhaps the wear and tear is affecting the young boy (it shouldn’t be – your 23, not 43!) as he went 4/13 with 2 air balls, 9 boards and a whole lot of nothing else. Paul P. Revere tried his best to stave off the redcoats, as he had a 20/12 performance on 58% shooting (!!) with some ridiculously acrobatic takes. Team May falls to 2-6, and all they want for Christmas is for their star captain to make his return to at least be able to compete a little bit.

With this win, Team Cole jumps Team Masich in the standings to take 2nd place. If they can fire on all cylinders like this consistently, I see no reason why they can’t make a championship run. Especially if Richie can come in and contribute as a complimentary piece and not let his captain’s ribbing get to him. And as long as he can stay away from those damn chairs…

Fun Fact: Bryant the 30 Shot Taker missed the first 10 minutes of the game.

8:30 (Primetime slot) KO’s champs? 58 vs Firehosers 62 (OT)

Buckner, Playoff Curt, Semi-final Richie, ’04 Yankees vs Sox, Falcons 28-3, Webber TO, 13 seconds……… What do all of these have in common with Grinders? Why are they being listed in our write-ups? They are some of the greatest chokes in sports history…..but none as bad as Kellen and the Jets blowing a 5 point lead with 8 seconds left, AND possession. Never before has a defending champ crumbled in crunch time and under the weight of expectations. On to the game.

The game was back and forth throughout most of the contest. KO’s squad got out fast and had a 2 point lead at the break.That slim margin was mostly provided by Justin “USPS” Rybinski. The big fella found holes in the soft Firehoser’s zone for frequent buckets. Justin finished with 25 pts. on 12/28 shooting while gathering a game high 13 rebounds. More on him later. The Fireguys were able to get themselves together after a sluggish start. Some of that offense came from injured new guy, Matt “I didn’t touch you/it” Kieta. Kieta (6/15, 13 pts) was able to hit a couple of open jumpers and had a layup in a quick spurt. MVP Jimmy started to “go to work” as commanded by self-appointed Captain Ford Popovich. Jimmy was able to dribble himself into some open spots and show off his mid-range game, as well as his ability to get to the bucket.

The second half was one of those, “You had to be there.” situations. Josh “A-gap” Lanzot found some footing and was able to dominate the soft, low-post defense played by Ford. Josh (7/13, 14/13/6 – 25 GAPE) was getting layup after layup as well as offensive rebounds to extend possessions. More on him later. Things looked bleak for the first-responders later in the game, but that’s when “First Ballot” Boerdner stepped up like all the greats do. E’s first half was forgettable. The second-half was one only Eric Devendorf could appreciate. E (8/18, 19/10/7/3) started to get to the hole and score. Those drives later turned into kickouts for Jimmy and Kieta 3’s which clawed into their deficit.

As the game wound down into the final seconds, things started to get interesting. With the game in hand (up 5) Josh (to the begging of the crowd) launched a 3 with 8 seconds left. It went in and out. The ball moved quickly down the court to a WIDE OPEN Boerdner. BANG! 3-ball corner pocket. Lead cut to 2. Team KO called timeout to advance the ball. With only a little over 2 seconds, the game seemed over. No way could they blow this. WEEEEEEELLLLLLLLL. Captain KO called the in-bounds play for Justin to catch the ball in the corner????????? Genius! Justin and his size 17 clown shoes stepped out of bounds. Turnover. But still, the fire guys had to go the length of the court in 1.5 seconds. No shot! No shot????? Somehow, Justin got caught guarding Jimmy, and like Duke v Kentucky, Hill to Laettner, a miracle happened. Jimmy caught the ball near the free throw line….on the other side of half-court, took 1 dribble and finger-rolled the ball up on the rim. It paused, sat there for a second like Kawhi’s against the Sixers, and fell in at the buzzer!!!! Off to OT.

In OT, The Fireguys took control and held a 2 point lead with 4 seconds to go. Captain KO called for a Tommy Hughes (6/21, 13/7/7/4, 7TO) isolation 3 from the backside of the logo with 5 seconds left. He missed it, the Fireguys scored, icing the game and winning by 4. Total collapse.

The defending champs are now 3-5 in 4th place. The Firehosers move to 2-6, good for last place.

Oh yeah, Zach and Ford played, but they’re pretty much the same player anyway – soft, tall guys with no jumpers.

Fun fact: Helmet went 0-2 with 1 airball. He now has more airballs than shots made on the season. Ouch.