Twas’ the Night Before Grinders Christmas: 

Twas the night before Grinders Christmas, all set on the court,

Sneakers squeaked echoes of chaos and sport.

Beers at the bar lined the counter in rows,

While hot takes were flowing as fast as they’d go.

Out of the shadows a rumor took flight,

Captain Tirado went missing, vanished that night—

Then BANG BANGIN’ rang out, a dramatic bookend,

A wild disappearing act, then this is how it ends?

Antonio Witt hit the floor, what a scene,

That injury looked straight off a movie screen.

While Richie’s hands broken, wrapped stiff, taped and sore,

Still tried to keep shooting—logic ignored.

Crazy ran amock, just chaos in shoes,

As Tommy yelled loudly till his team sang the blues.

Pauly P blocked subs like a bouncer at ten,

“No one is checking in’!”—not now, not then!

Jimmy and Curt, yeah, unfair was the cry,

Whistles went missing when they happened to try.

And Kellen played like 2011 LeBron,

Disappeared when it mattered, the confidence gone.

Gersitz, distracted, his mind far away,

Too focused on laundromats spinning all day.

While Jeff May fired shots in signal chat fire,

Random disses launched with unprompted desire.

Danny kept coughing, just couldn’t get clear,

Hack after hack echoing gym walls all year.

But Salvati, the fifth man, put the team on his back,

Quietly carried while others went slack.

Chaz ripped Cole’s MVP from his floppin’ behind,

A theft for the ages, still blows Coles mind.

Alec shot from the Great Divide, deep and insane,

Launching prayers that defied space and plane.

Paul J and Boccio showed football hands flair,

Catching wild passes that shouldn’t be there.

Bobby Swags stayed swaggin’, drip fully intact,

While Bryant—controlled?! Hows about that.

E kept podcasting, mic always hot,

Breaking down games like Cole likes to flop

Chuck stayed chuckin’, let it fly, never froze,

While Worm kept shugin’—elbows! Your nose!

Garrett hit the inhaler, gasped then attacked,

Second-wind buckets—medically backed.

Justin stayed tall, towering still,

Kale stayed produce, farm-fresh skilled

Peyton had angry spurts, fire then peace,

While Jon U delivered a stellar season, hehe!

Little Josh subbed in—a rare sacred sight,

Like spotting a comet mid-game on a night.

Lanzot and Ben—oh boy—did they make it?! 

Corey Angel Reesing grabbed rebounds all day,

Board after board in a dominant way.

And Cole did not win, despite all the jeering,

Not this time around, since Wayne cant carry!

So raise up those beers as the legends are spun,

Enjoy it while it lasts—because Curt won.

Yes Curt took the crown, let the prophecy run…

The apocalypse is here. Merry Christmas. WE’RE DONE!!!!!!!!!🎄🍻

If you are a Grinder who has said to himself, “Man – this website we have is tits, but I don’t get what some of these dumb stats OMJ posts on here are.” Then this blog is for you!

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WAP (aka “What’s a Pass?”) (aka %TmFGA)

Formula: Field Goals Attempted/Total Team Field Goals Attempted (FGA/TmFGA)

Why highlight it? We like to highlight guys who shoot a lot.

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GAPE (aka Grinders Analytical Performance Evaluation… or something like that)

Formula: (Points+Rebounds+Assists+Steals+Blocks-Turnovers-Air Balls – Missed Shots)

Why highlight it? This is the Grinders version of the NBA’s Player Efficiency Rating stat.

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Hero (aka %TmGAPE)

Formula: (GAPE/TmGAPE)

Why Highlight it? This stat generally highlights the Grinder who ends up being the “go-to-guy” on a team. In theory, you could use this stat to help indicate who the most valuable players are to their teams.

Examples of Hero’s:

Last week, Chris Cole had a GAPE of 19. Not bad! His team had a total GAPE of 22. That’s bad! Chris was the hero of the week because he literally was the only guy who did anything for his team, statistically speaking (19/22 = 86.4%). That’s an unusually high Hero% though.

Most season leaders have been slightly over .500 (Tall Justin, Curtis, Gersitz, etc – all-around excellent Grinders).

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Game Score (aka GmScore)

Formula: The average of:

• FG%/.500
• Pts/20
• Rebounds/10
• (Assists+Steals+Blocks-TOs-Air Balls)/10

Why highlight it? The highest Game Score = Best individual all-around performance, based on benchmarks for each of the above.

Example 1:

• .750/.500 = 150%
• 6/20 = 33.3%
• 4/10 = 40%
• (2-3=-1) -1/10 = -10%
• GmScore = Average of 150, 33.3, 40, and -10. = 53.35
• That’s fine, but not great.

Also – a Grinder can sometimes just be really good at everything. The example below – Chaz shoots 40% from the floor but scores a ton and does a lot of other good stuff.

Example 2:

• Chaz shoots 12/30, for 30 points (he hits 6 threes), has 20 rebounds, throws in 1 block, 2 steals, 7 assists, has 4 turnovers, and air balls 2.
• 12/30=40%, 40%/50%=80%
• 30/20 = 166%
• 20/10 = 200%
• (1+2+7-4-2)= 4, 4/10 = 40%
• GmScore = Average of 80, 166, 200, and 40. = 121.5
• That’s really excellent, despite the turnovers and airballs.

Here’s more examples in Table form:

Check it out for yourself. Grinders are ranked in order on the stats leader pages based on this stat. Check out the career stats, or previous season stats. I feel pretty good about the order the top guys are in (and the bottom guys for that matter), as far as who was the best and worst. Of course – there is always going to be debate, but this stat without fault puts the top guys at the top.

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