Danny might have hit the greatest shot since Nixon over Gersitz, only for it to be trumped five minutes four minutes and fifty-nine seconds later by the greatest shot in City of Tonawanda history… 

We were getting Cory’s Gatorade bath ready, making arrangements for the victory parade, the mayor was on his way with the key to the city, ESPN was already negotiating with us for film rights… 

But it was at this moment that E found out why they call him Knock-Out, cancelling out the “greatest shot in Grinders history”. I’m not sure if they were just tired, confused or just so use to losing that they just accepted their fate. But the fans in the arena that day knew what had happened – the biggest robbery in league history had just occurred. 

One onlooker described it as like a parent telling a kid “It’s over because I said so”. Someone needs to tell OMJ to adjust the stats for the game, add +1 steal for Kellen, because he stole that win. There hasn’t been a robbery that big since they traded the island of Manhattan from Helmets ancestors for $24 worth of beads and trinkets.

Cory went from never having to buy his own drinks at the bar ever again one minute, to just a small footnote in Kellen’s criminal history the next. All of this just one week after the biggest assault in league history. Can we let these escalating crimes continue? Or will the commissioner stand up to thugs like Kellen & Curtiss. 

At this point, it’s safer to walk down Bailey Ave at night then to lace up shoes at the EBC gym. 

The only positive of the whole situation is that E’s perfect season is still going strong.