Category: Blog

The Path to Grinder Glory


Hello Grinders faithful. Have you missed us? We sure haven’t missed you! Just kidding… mostly. Yes, it’s true – we’ve been slacking pretty hard here at Grinders HQ. If you want the truth, we’ve found this session extremely boring. Not worth our time really to step away from our extremely interesting and very cool lives to write down our thoughts about all this mid basketball being played. What do you want from us? Here’s your recap of Weeks 3 through 9: Cole’s team and Pauly P’s team are annoyingly good. Every other team is subpar and borderline lousy. Recap over.

But in all seriousness, I have felt a little bad that you haven’t had our weekly goodness to absorb with your eyeballs. So, while this won’t be a recap article, I thought it was a neat and new idea. I’ll be going down the line and detailing how achieving Grinders glory is a possibility for each team. And, because you all suck, I’ll also be detailing how every team will NOT win the Grinders championship. (I’m sure there’s better verbiage for what I’m doing here. You’ll get the gist.)


1 – TheMV(Pauly)P’s
When these guys actually show up to play, they are a nightmare for defenses. You have last sessions real MVP, captain Pauly; perennial PITA and 1st Team All-Grinder lock Gersitz, and a healthy Mike Malicki. In my opinion, this team can F right off. Salvati is that 4th man everyone wishes they had, with his grit and grind play style and ability to hit a fair share of his open jumpers. Pending no more season-ending injuries, I fail to see how these guys aren’t in the final 2. They move the ball well, they force defenders into 1-on-1 situations, and they hit their shots at an above average rate. Especially Gersitz, casually hitting 60% of his attempts. So lame!

Key to Success: Just have all hands on deck. Boring analysis I know, but would anyone disagree? They have the size and athleticism to matchup against bigger teams, and Pauly P and Salvati are more than capable on the perimeter.


Key to Failure: Besides injury, the only weakness I can think of is if we see the return of 2023 Malicki where he shoots 0/20 or whatever, and if Gersitz is somehow held below 20 points. They would need to play horrendously to fall short of a ring this season.


2 – TeamSlimThick(Cole)
Speaking of annoying teams to play against… the most intimidating big man duo we’ve seen in quite some time of Cole and Wayne have been terrorizing small chumps for months. Hate em or love em, both men are averaging double doubles, and even Richie is flirting with a double double himself somehow. People forget he’s on the team! Tirado and Chuck let it fly from deep while Wayne and Cole play bully ball down low. And they can also shoot from range. Stupid team I say. Their only 2 losses came due to being short handed (missing either Cole or Wayne) and while they’ve had a few close calls, they know how to hunker down and come up clutch. And while we haven’t seen it too often, if the shots are falling from 3, there might not be a team that can keep up offensively. Again, not to be boring, but I fail to see a future where this team isn’t defending their championship in a couple of weeks.

Key to Success: Feed the top 2 guys. Let Wayne and Cole do damage down low, and defenses will be forced to bring help, leaving Tirado/Chuck open on the outside. They’ve shown that they’re a tough team to score on, so exploit any mismatches, score how you can, pass the ball around, and like Pauly P’s team, force those 1-on-1 situations.


Key to Failure: Cole and Wayne rain suck, and Tirado/Chuck/Richie can’t carry them on their backs. Granted, I don’t think anyone could carry those two guys at once, unless you’re an Olympic power lifter, and even then I’d still be concerned for your health and well being. Get it because heavy. The only team that’s given Cole’s squad problems is Pauly P’s. Everyone else is just not big/good enough. They’d need an extremely poor offensive performance to fall short of the championship game. Or maybe Tirado channels his inner Bang Bang and shoots 2/30 from the field.


3 – Team “MyRock”(Peyton)
I am confused. Should a team with two guys on the All-Grinders Teams be 4-5? The young captain’s squad has lost 4 of their last 5, and we don’t even have to bring up the squandered 15 point lead from two weeks ago… against Old Man Jon nonetheless. Nearly half of their games have been decided by one possession, but is that really the problem? On paper this should be a top 2 team – Peyton really went all in with what should be a small-ball death lineup with Jimmy, $5 Tommy and Bryant. Worm was on the team, then wasn’t, and then was again, and he has been decent if unspectacular (when he shows up). Sure, on draft day it was determined this would be an extremely boom-or-bust lineup. Especially with having no true big man. Perhaps the youngling failed to take into account that by putting together such an offensive-minded squad, literally no other team will play anything but zone, and sometimes they just look flummoxed by it, especially against teams with size. Something just feels off, especially when everyone on the court seems to flourish when they’re ball-dominant.

Key to Success: Move the damn ball more! We’ve seen everyone have their moments, but when every team plays zone against you, you have to keep the ball moving and find an opening. Also, you have 3 of the fastest and most athletic guys in the entire league. Run that fastbreak – and don’t be afraid to ride the hot hand. If all 5 guys can coexist and distribute the rock evenly, a late season run is certainly not out of the picture.


Key to Failure: Play selfish and take forced shots. Which we’ve seen from multiple guilty parties. Sometimes the shots aren’t falling, and that’ll happen, but forcing low percentage shots against teams with better cohesion is the reason why this talented team has been doing up short.


4 – Team “Where’smyfoul?!” E
Bolstered by the league giant Tall Justin, this team has seen some ups but more downs – it’s unclear what the root of their 4-6 record is. 4 guys (Justin, Ford, Zach, and Ben) have GAPEs in the double digits and respectable shooting percentages over 33%. Captain E’s production has dipped, but this analyst has noticed the sharp uptick in assists this session, as E is averaging 4 dimes a game! When Justin is being tall and stuff and Ford goes to work or whatever, they are not an easy out. They have the ability to control the boards against most other teams, and they don’t turn the ball over too often – it really seems like it’s just a matter if everyone shows up to play or not. If Justin and Ford are connecting, and Ben/E can contribute, I don’t think it’s too far-fetched for them to make it at least to the semifinals.


Key to Success: Let Justin hit his unblockable jump shots, and everyone else plays 3&D ball. Ideally we’d have to see E knock down some of his patented pull up jumpers and drive, Zach can hit his open looks from 15 feet and in, and Ben + Ford have shown this season they’re capable of hitting from range. And when things aren’t going their way, whether it’s on the court or off of it, they have to keep their composure.


Key to Failure: A cold streak can be trouble for pretty much any team, but since E will be playing Team Al in the playoff opener, I went back and looked at the box score when these two last squared off. E shot 50% on his way to 22 points, and Justin had a double double with 18 points and 15 rebounds. The issue is that Ben and Ford shot for a combined 20% from the field (1/11 and 2/17, respectively). Not great! And they only lost to Al by 2 points. Another thing I noticed is in most of their losses, the opposing team generally has significantly higher game shooting percentages. I’m not saying they are bad defensively, but against some the more potent offenses in the league (Peyton, Cole, Pauly P) it will be tough to hang in there if one of their scorers goes cold.


5 – Team “NoDAllowed” Al
Maybe this is an exaggeration due to last week’s OT thriller, in which they fell short in the battle for the 3 seed 81-83. But, looking through their session, every team team Al has faced has scored more than 50 points. In fact, the lowest opposing final score in their 1-4 start to the session was 58. They have improved slightly in that regard over the last 5 games, not allowing an opponent to score over 60 – but they’ve shown that they need an all around scoring effort to overcome their opponents. Hell, last week Jeff May dropped 39 points on nearly 50% shooting, and they still couldn’t pull out the victory. There’s no doubt that they have an above average offense, with Jeff May and Garrett averaging over 18 PPG and Al/Joe both in the double digits as well. Nixon, while only appearing 4 games this session, is a nice complementary option as well. But giving up 83 points with playoff implications on the line feels pretty telling to me.


Key to Success: Overcome offensive onslaughts. From a numbers standpoint, you can pretty much chalk in at least 50 points from the other team. I’d say defense is the key, but that just doesn’t appear to be in Al’s gameplan. So, I’d say let Jeff May and Garrett get theirs, let Joe cook down low every now and then, and have Al hit his signature baseline jumpers – as long as everyone shoots around 40-50 percent, there’s a chance they can win some duels. With the playoff opener against team E, who they split their session series with, they are susceptible to cold shooting streaks – Al’s team needs to capitalize if such a situation arises.


Key to Failure: Defensive ineptitude. If they have all hands on deck and have a sub to work with, maybe they can let their guys get some rest – but this is the most glaring issue with this team. I’d say there’s still a chance if Jeff May goes nuclear and everyone else contributes handily, but then I look at last week where that happened and it still didn’t matter. I don’t really know a solution, so I’ll just say “D the F up.”


Team “Curtis” Jon
Unfortunately, despite Curtis averaging 32 PPG, Team OMJ is the first Grinders team to miss the playoffs.

Key to Success: Curtis play good.

Key to Failure: Curtis play not good.

Blurb end.


Week 2 Recap

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time O/U ML 1
01/31/2024 6:30 pm Grinders 2024.1 40' 104 Chuck o/u 3 3PM
01/31/2024
41 - 63
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
Peyton3518470.383161260103341Loss
Cole11325510.490271651107563Win
Ah, the thrilling basketball showdown between Team Chris and the Peyton Panthers—a clash of titans that left spectators on the edge of their seats. Let’s dive into the stats, shall we?

Team Chris: The “Almost There” Squad Grinder’s resident loudmouth Chris Cole decided to channel his inner Steph Curry last week. With a whopping 1 three-pointer, he made sure the opposing team knew that he’s not just here for the free snacks during halftime. And hey, shooting 75% from the field? That’s practically like hitting a bullseye while blindfolded. Kudos, Chris! Ah, Chuck. His shooting form is as consistent as a broken clock. With 3 three-pointers and a 0.300 FG%, he’s basically saying, “Why settle for easy shots when you can make life interesting?” Jon, Jon, Jon. His 5 three-pointers are like a fireworks show—bright, flashy, and leaving everyone wondering if they’ll ever come down. Wayne, oh Wayne. His 4 three-pointers are like a symphony of swishes. Shooting 55.6% from the field? It’s practically a love letter to the rim, saying, “You complete me.” And that 0.667 EFG%? Well, it’s the kind of precision that would make a Swiss watch jealous. Wayne is the hero we didn’t know we needed. This team made it rain all game long and coasted to a blow out win – with Jon T capping the game with an insulting final three.

Peyton: The Unstoppable Force Bryant “The Grinder”, because apparently regular names just won’t cut it, had 2 three-pointers and 0.389 FG%. Bryant’s stats are basically an orgy of chaos. It’s like saying, “I’m here to disrupt your plans, one missed shot at a time. Eric shoots like he’s aiming for the moon. “I will probably miss, but when I don’t, it’s magical.” Jimmy’s shooting form is smoother than a jazz saxophonist on a moonlit night. With 2 three-pointers and a 0.529 FG%, he’s practically whispering to the ball, “You’re my muse, baby.” And that 0.588 EFG%? Well, let’s just say it’s the kind of efficiency that would make Marie Kondo proud—every shot sparks joy. Jimmy, is a work of art. Mike Benjamin, this team’s former resident phantom, decided to play hide-and-seek with the basket. Zero points, zero field goals, and zero EFG%. Worm was heard saying “Scoring? Nah, I prefer existential contemplation.” Team captain Peyton Urbaniak, the enigma wrapped in a mystery, wrapped in a basketball jersey, “contributed” nothing. Zero points, zero field goals, and zero EFG%. When interviewed after the game, Peyton shrugged, “I’m not here to impress anyone. I’m here to baffle everyone.” Peyton, you’ve got us all scratching our heads. And finally, Tommy Hughes—the invisible man. Zero points, zero field goals, zero EFG%, and zero everything else. It’s like he’s saying, “I’m not even sure how I got on this court, but hey, I’m here.” Tommy, you’re the unsung hero of obscurity. In summary, the Peyton Panthers put on a “show” that’s equal parts dazzling and head-scratching. They’ve got more zeros than a Sudoku puzzle.

Fun fact: GAPE Chicken lost Tommy’s stat line. Sorry big guy, that’s why we try to keep limited to the Graphic’s department.

Peyton

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Bryant The Grinder00227180.3890.44416211062.7131.8
Eric Carlson0001250.4000.5005311013.0633.3
Jimmy Zeitz00029170.5290.58820622026.02072.6
Mike Benjamin0010030.0000.0000030010.0-28.0
Peyton Urbaniak0000040.0000.0000552005.7819.1
Tommy Hughes000000000000000.0020.0
Total003518470.3830.436411612601017.33364.7

Cole

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Chris Cole0001680.7500.81313551013.72198.8
Chuck Thomasulo00133100.3000.4509722026.31040.8
Jon Tirado00056150.4000.56717551053.71449.0
Wayne Haynes000410180.5560.667241041127.33085.0
Total0011325510.4900.618632716511021.075116.9

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time O/U ML 1
01/31/2024 7:30 pm Grinders 2024.1 40' 98.5 Gersitz o/u 34 PTS+Reb
01/31/2024
56 - 65
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
E0625630.397291320125056Loss
Pauly P5230650.46235197238265Win

7:30 Team Fordner 56 vs Team MV Palombo 65
“The Battle of the Big Guys.” “The Return of Mr. 47.” “Supporting cast Scuffle.” These are all titles that this game could have had. Instead, the only “big guys” that showed up were Ford and Gersitz and Mr. 47 looked more like Mr. 4.7. Alas, onto the game.

It looked like Team Fordner was looking to feature Zach “DIVA Skyhook” Newberry on the block as the key cog to their offensive gameplan. Newbs was able to dominate Justin “Achilles Heel” Gerardi in the post. Newbs went 7/12 for 14 points down low. He also bullied his way to 10 rebounds on the much, much, smaller defender. In fact the self-proclaimed “DIVA of Destruction” beat up poor defenseless Helmet so badly that a double team was brought on every touch. This allowed Zach to collect a tidy 5 assists, many of them to Mike “They Better Not Leave Me Open” Ford. Mr. “I Travel for Work” had himself a game (and a spiked milkshake after). Ford dropped 27 on his defenseless counterparts on 11/21 shooting, including a career-high (5) 3’s. With those kind of numbers, Team Fordener should have ran out to an easy win……except they let Cole and E touch the ball. Cole and E combined for a pathetic 7/30 shooting performance with only (1) 3 pointer made. At certain points of the game Gersitz wasn’t even covering Cole, and allowing him to shoot. It was that bad.

Team MVPalombo welcomed back former league superstar Mike “My Neck and My Back” Malicki. Malicki must have caught whatever shooting virus that plagued E and Cole as his return was quite lackluster. Malicki went 2/15 and had a -8 GAPE. Not the return he wanted, but it was good to see him on the court again. Luckily for their squad former DADBOD great Mike “Cobra” Salvati stepped up to the plate and delivered big time. Salvati slithered his way to 16 points on a scorching 8/11 shooting performance. He also chipped in with 5 boards, 1 assist, and 1 steal. Captain P. toyed with the awful defense in front of him and almost had a triple-double (10/12/8). “P” picked up right where he left off on his quest for back to back MVP’s.

Speaking of heroic efforts, we’d like to bring back the exploits of one Justin “Warpath” Gerardi. With Ford playing “velcro-like” defense Helmet decided to remind everyone about his personal line of posters that he gives out. First he splashed a 3 right in Ford’s 8 chins. Second, he hit a pull-up J in Ford’s eye. Lastly, he out ran Ford on a fast-break, took off from the bottom of the circle, and finger-rolled one of the most beautiful layups Grinders has ever seen. In a fit of jealousy, Ford placed one of his travel pamphlets on the court behind Helmet, causing a banana peel situation. Helmet slipped and partially tore his achilles. Speedy recovery sir!

While we speak of exploits, we must retrace our steps to DIVA Newberry. Newbs used to be one of Grinder’s best defenders. Now that he is being used as a go-to scorer, he has apparently decided to only play on that end. Mike “Starch Your Whites” Gersitz lit up Newberry like a J on 4/20. Gersitz had a league high 38 GAPE with a 27/11/6/2/2 stat line on 60% shooting. Maybe he figured out the trick to bustin’ Newbs or maybe Newbs, in his new role, layed down like a paid lady of the eve. You be the judge.

Fun facts from the game:
Ford’s 27 points are a career high. As are his 5 three’s.
Ford gave up more than 27 from all the people he “guarded.”
Team Fordener (0-2) could be the first team in Grinders history not to qualify for the postseason.

E

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Eric Boerdner00014160.2500.28191011055.3427.8
Mike Ford000511210.5240.64327610032.02171.0
Zach Newberry00007120.5830.583141051015.32485.5
Sub00003140.2140.2146360031.0124.5
Total000625630.3970.444562913201213.75084.7

Pauly P

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Justin Gerardi0001360.5000.5837511003.71177.7
Mike Gersitz220112200.6000.6252711622011.738103.0
Mike Malicki12302150.1330.1335231022.7-87.0
Mike Salvati00108110.7270.72716511003.71994.0
Paul Palumbo00105130.3850.385101282018.02262.0
Total345230650.4620.47765351972329.782124.5

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time O/U ML 1
01/31/2024 8:30 pm Grinders 2024.1 40' 107 Jon U o/u 8.5 PTS
01/31/2024
58 - 47
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
Old Man Jon3327580.4662295\1124758Win
Crazy0433750.440371611188547Loss

8:30 primetime game Team OMJ vs Team Crazy.

A (forfeit) game that featured some subs was close early with Team OMJ going back and forth between man and zone. Also included the unfortunate injury of Helmet who was subbing. Which led to Wayne coming in to play and creating havoc on offense and defense scoring 28 points combined with other sub. Garrett “Lumberjack” Beesing had what is becoming a standard week for him with 22 points and 12 Rebounds.

Curtis “Love every shot” Masich started off cold but finished strong when it was too late for a comeback with 31 points. Not having Big Josh definitely hurt Team OMJ in this one and no matter what defense they were in Team captain “Crazy” AL couldn’t be stopped having 20 points and even attempted a three pointer this game. Team Crazy getting its first win of the season now has 4 teams in grinders at 1-1

Old Man Jon

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Curtis Masich001314340.4120.456311021117.32364.7
Jon Urbaniak0010240.5000.5004440061.3321.8
Josh Morcelle0000450.8000.8008211022.7950.7
Mike Boccio00107150.4670.46714622036.01254.1
Total003327580.4660.49157229411217.34785.4

Crazy

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Al Derrico000010270.3700.3702010240211.31754.9
Garrett Beesing000210270.3700.4072212831312.02662.7
Sub000213210.6190.6672815640313.042100.3
Total000433750.4400.467703716111836.385126.0

Opening Night – Week 1

Captain Tenneal Avatar

Vic Romano Avatar

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time
01/24/2024 6:30 pm Grinders 2024.1 40'
01/24/2024
40 - 43
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
E1418550.32730102474140Loss
Old Man Jon3120670.29936104344043Win

6:30 Team OMJ 43 vs Team E 40
Both teams were missing pieces of their teams and both teams needed a sub. This seemed to be a theme of week 1. One of the barguements (patent pending term) was who got lucky and “subbed up”. Pauly “MV” P was selected to be the replacement for Lanzot and OMJ. Peyton was chosen to sub for Zach and “his highness” Michael Francis Ford Coppola VII. Would the subs determine the outcome?

The game started off slowly with respect to scoring. It seemed like each team was having a hard time figuring out their roles and where the shots were going to come from. If Eldridge needed a driveway built, these 2 squads would have gladly paved a brick one for them.

As the game settled in, Team E looked to run the offense through “Tall for Nothing” Justin, getting touches in the paint. The OMJ defense responded by swarming him when he got the ball. Justin was mildly effective in the first half, but faded in the second, finishing with a 13/8 stat line on 33% from the field. That percentage seemed to be the going rate for E squad as Ben “MIA” Sears “and RoebucK” went 4 of 12 to go along with 9 rebounds. Sub Peyton fared a little better shooting 5 of 13 to go along with 4 blocks (one of them he blocked with the crook of his elbow…..damn). Captain E must have been saving it for later cause his shooting was dreadful in this game. E got his looks (some forced) but they just didn’t go down (3 of 12, 6 assists). Sometimes teams just have off shooting nights. I think this was one of those, and not a precursor for the rest of the season.

One guy who doesn’t have a problem taking (and sometimes making) shots is Curtis “insert foreign nickname that we can’t pronounce” Maisch. Curtis led his offensively deficient team (and the game) with 25 points to go along with 17 rebounds and 4 assists. Big Curty dominated the action at both ends, controlling the pace. Mike “Soft off the Glass?” Boccio continued to try his best and finished with a 4/4/3/1 stat line, and was able to effect the game with his hustle. ‘Lil Josh has one of his better games in recent memory contributing 8 points on 9 shots (including an “And 1”) on Tall Justin. Josh spent most of the second half dropping his nuts on Justin’s chin like a cop dunks a donut in coffee. To be honest, his buckets were big momentum grabbers in the second half, and helped the Old Men keep their slim lead. When Curt got cold, sub “MV” Palombo contributed some extra possessions (13 rebounds) as well as executing some screens to get the chucking AD some easier looks.

The game came down to the last minute where the new foul shot rule came into effect. Curt stepped up and drilled his first 2 which seemed to ice the game. Team E came down and hit a big bucket to cut the lead. Curt again stepped to the line with a chance to ice it. He missed BOTH free throws giving the E squad a chance to force OT. As E set to launch the tying 3, Curt redeemed himself with a big block, and the shot never got off. Some in the crowd say ‘Lil Josh threw the body and a foul should have occurred, but oh well. Game over.

Fun facts from the game:
1. We saw the first free throws in Grinders history: Curtis Maisch 2/4. The AD will always be the answer to a Grinders trivia question.
2. The “barguement” over which team subbed up I feel is a little null and void. Both Pauly P. and Peyton did a little something better than the other throughout the stat sheet. Pauly had more rebounds, assists, and steals. Peyton had more points and blocks.
3. Team OMJ is merely 1 win away from the over/under set by Vegas at the beginning of the year. How many of you had money on the under?

E

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Ben Sears00014120.3330.3759921035.01043.3
Eric Boerdner00023120.2500.3338560001.71043.3
Justin Rybinski00016180.3330.36113810022.7843.0
Sub00105130.3850.385108114212.71350.5
Total001418550.3270.36440301024722.04171.2

Old Man Jon

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Curtis Masich240111270.4070.4262517413013.73276.4
Josh Morcelle0000490.4440.4448200010.7454.0
Mike Boccio00202170.1180.1184431013.3-69.0
Sub00103140.2140.21461332028.31033.5
Total243120670.2990.30643361043426.04068.4

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time
01/24/2024 7:30 pm Grinders 2024.1 40'
01/24/2024
45 - 48
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
Pauly P0122570.38627152365145Loss
Peyton5222640.34428117193748Win

7:30pm – Peyton vs. Pauly P

One of the more intriguing matchups of this 2024 opening session, the two first-time captains trotted out their teams, both with that sort of “boom or bust” vibe to them. The real MVP Pauly P ran the offense and fed his guy Gersitz, who breezed his way to an 18/10/5 stat line on 60% shooting. Gersitz looked way more GAPEy than he did most of last session, reasserting his dominance as a top dog with 27 GAPE. Pauly wasn’t too far behind, as he matched Mike with 18 points of his own, frustrating the defense with that silky smooth left handed floater. Salvati, AKA Mike 2, had a forgettable evening, as he only managed to sink 2 of his 14 attempts, but he played some solid defense with 3 blocks. Helmet must have had a dream that he was Steph Curry or something, as he was letting it fly from range – he did connect on one 3 ball, but his GAPE of 1 left much to be desired. If Malicki can make his return and is even marginally better than the last time we saw him in action, this team could be an overwhelming force. But, until then, they will likely rely heavily on the two former MVPs to carry the bulk of the load.

Peyton’s team definitely has a theme – high volume shooters and ball handlers galore. For those who don’t know about the draft day debacle, somehow we saw our youngest Grinder weasel his way into securing Tommy for only $5. On the surface, this team should be capable of dropping 60+ every week. But there were some growing pains in their first game – primarily, perennial MVP candidate Jimmy seeing the least amount of playing time and the man who’s never seen a shot he didn’t like, Bryant. 21 points looks nice on the stat sheet, but then it gets ugly – 30 shots and 0 secondary stats outside of rebounds? Not exactly a winning formula. When Jimmy was in the game, he looked like his usual self with an efficient 8 points – but a GAPE of 8 feels like an all-time low for this guy. For the team’s sake they’ll need to get him the ball more frequently and let him do his thing. The $5 man himself, Tommy, couldn’t find a groove, outside of one of his signature scoop layup drives – 5 points, 5 rebounds and 5 turnovers is just so fitting for Tommy. Him and fives! He did have 4 steals and a block, but essentially canceled those out with 5 turnovers and a 2/9 shooting performance that included 2 airballs. Eric “Cuz” Carlson made his return, and we didn’t see too much hacking, but he did drill a three-pointer and added a steal. Peyton led the way in GAPE for his team with 13, and contributed 6 points, along with 10 boards, 4 assists and 2 steals. We will all be praying for him this week when he has to play de-facto “big” man against Cole’s team.

Pauly P

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Justin Gerardi0001290.2220.2785410021.3128.3
Mike Gersitz00009150.6000.600181051015.32789.5
Mike Salvati00002140.1430.1434550307.7526.4
Paul Palumbo00009190.4740.47418841034.71863.5
Total000122570.3860.39545271523619.05187.5

Peyton

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Bryant The Grinder001110300.3330.35021600002.0641.5
Eric Carlson0011380.3750.4387311003.0650.4
Jimmy Zeitz0000480.5000.5008420021.3858.0
Peyton Urbaniak0010390.3330.33361042027.31346.3
Tommy Hughes1220290.2220.22255441511.7422.8
Total125222640.3440.35947281171925.33766.5

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time
01/24/2024 8:30 pm Grinders 2024.1 40'
01/24/2024
63 - 55
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
Cole0627680.39741164187363Win
Crazy4525710.35223990133355Loss

8:30 Chuckin’ Champs 63 vs. Crazy Al 55

The matinee game (after schedule alterations) for week 1 turned out to be a pretty competitive affair. Usually the first week of a new Grinders season tends to be low scoring as new teammates are getting used to each other, and the open runs aren’t populated. This was the case in the 6:30/7:30 games, as none of the those teams cracked the 50 point barrier.

New guy Garrett “Bee-Sting Wee Wee” got it started for team Al. He was continually able to drive by the “Matador D” of both Wayne and Cole, leading to easy layups or a drive and dish scenario. This allowed the Crazies to grab an early first-half lead. Garrett (10/24, 21 pts, 4 ast., 3 stls) was able to get Crazy Al (14/7/2/3) loose for his baseline jumpers as well as get some open looks for Todd “Big Dixon” Nixon (6/5/1/2). About the only guy that wasn’t getting it going for the Crazies was Jeff “Superman” May.

The Champs were still in parade/hangover condition. They came out shooting blanks (mostly Cole and Thomasulo). As they continued to misfire like a vasectomy victim, Wayne “Phonebooth” Haynes and “First Ballot” Boerdner (who was subbing) did find some open room near the hoop to get some easy lay-ins to keep the margin (9) somewhat close at the half.

As the second half began, the Champs did what they had done all last season, get hot. Statracker (Jeff May 14/10/2/1) stated the Champs went on a 16-2 run to open up in the second half, claiming a lead they would never relinquish. Chuck “Parkman” Thomasulo (11/8/1) drained a couple 3’s early in the run. Wayne found his bearings too, drilling (3) 3’s en route to a 18/12/4/2 statline. The real story in the second half for the Champs was their sub, E. Boerdner took over in the second half, running the Stockton/Malone pick and roll to perfection. E finished with 21 points to go along with 8 boards, 3 assists, and 2 steals. He also had a game high GAPE of 28. This begs the question, “Do the Champs need Richie?”

Random stuff from the game:
Wayne, Chuck, and E were each 1/2 from the free throw line. There were no over-and-back violations.

Cole

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Chris Cole00016150.4000.433131380146.32258.8
Chuck Thomasulo12024180.2220.27811810022.7328.0
Wayne Haynes12037200.3500.425181242028.02056.4
Sub120010150.6670.66721832006.728101.3
Total360627680.3970.44163411641823.773109.8

Crazy

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Al Derrico00126170.3530.41214723018.31349.8
Garrett Beesing001110240.4170.43821143046.31047.9
Jeff May00126250.2400.280141021075.3021.2
Todd Nixon0010350.6000.6006512015.71043.3
Total004525710.3520.38755239901325.73362.5

Draft Review, season preview…….WWE Style

With all of the snow across WNY, we here at Grinders HQ have gone a little crazy…..like OMJ after a couple IPA’s (or mead these days).I’ve begun to notice some changes in the quality of Grinders basketball over the last few seasons. To be honest it looks more like good ‘ol fashioned wrastlin’ than b-ball these days. Keeping with that theme, we are doing Grinders comps not to the NBA as done in the past, but to professional wrestlers from all companies. Enjoy.

Team Crazy:

Crazy Al: Seth Rollins (SHIELD version) – Quiet, bearded, motors that go for freaking ever. Rollins is the Crossfit Jesus of the WWE. Crazy can run for freaking ever. Crazy is also more of a team guy than a stand-alone, which is why he’s SHIELD Rollins and not the Monday Night Messiah version.


Jeff May: Undertaker (American Bad Ass version) – One of the greats, but definitely long in the tooth. Though every time you think Jeff has one calf in the grave, he rises up for another season. Incredible.


Joe Marie: The Godfather – Both big, scary looking guys. I don’t know if Joe has ho’s, but I know I’m not going to cross him and end up in the pimp’s closet.


Todd Nixon: Daniel Bryan – Both tiny people that no one thought would ever win. Nixon had that great beard going for a while too. Everyone loves Nxon like everyone loves Bryan. Bryan won the title at Mania and the place went nuts. Everyone remembers the roof coming off of Eldridge when Nixon hit the 3 on Gersitz to win it. No one sat down the rest of the night. The hands went up and down like the “Yes” movement.


Garrett: Jack Swagger – Big, strong, fast, good jaws. Both talk a little stupid. Both have the potential to be much better than they already are……or losing championship matches in crushing fashion.


Team Boerdner:

E: Jinder Mahal – Both are arrogant and aloof. People generally don’t like them. Major villains.  Also, do a side by side headshot. It’s uncanny. Lastly, where the hell do these two come from? Are they Floridian, Iranian, Egyptian, Italian? Make up your tanned minds.


Ford & Justin: The Natural Disasters, Earthquake and Typhoon – A lotta size and nothing to show for it. Soft in the head and soft in the middle.


Zach: The Miz – Both are typical divas who think that their accomplishments allow them to call the shots. Both get very bitchy when things don’t go their way. Both will absolutely break all the rules to win and are as underhanded as they come.


Ben:  David Otunga – Strong, athletic bodies that could be sooooo much more. Both careers disappeared like Ben on game day.


Team Peyton:

Peyton: Riddle – Both do crazy ish on the court/in the ring. Both are young and up and coming. Both are athletic AF. Both say nothing. Comp could have been RVD if Pey-Pey ever opened his mouth.


Bryant: Kofi Kingston – They both have all the crazy moves in the ring and on the court.


Jimmy: Bret “the Hitman” Hart – The best there is. The best there was. The best there ever will be. Nuff said.


Worm: Ravishing Rick Rude – Handsome, pretty boys that couldn’t win the big one. Rude only made it to the Intercontinental Championship. Worm only has a mini-session ‘chip. I swear if Worm wears tights with Zach face on the crotch, it will be the most Alpha move of all time.


Tommy: Chris Jericho (AEW version) – Both used to be superstars, but are now in the twilight of their careers. Both run their mouths like crazy. Time has not been kind to either.


‘Lil Cuz: The Brooklyn Brawler – Neither guy has much talent. Both are better than jobbers. The Brooklyn Brawler meant to hurt you instead of wrestle you. Cuz means to hack you instead of play defense.


Team Pauly P:

Pauly P.: John Cena – Hustle. Loyalty. Respect. These adjectives scream Pauly P. While he may not have the titles like Cena, he is the reigning MVP.


Gersitz: Razor Ramon: Both big and athletic. At times, both look like they couldn’t give AF. Razor was good solo, but always needed a superstar to push him over the top.


Milicki: Kevin Nash – Biggest guys on the court. Could both be unstoppable at times. Injuries and age robbed both of longer, more dominant careers. Both susceptible to the “finger poke of doom”. 


Salvati: Santino Marella – Both Italian. Both beloved by the crowds. Both are better side stories than main players. Salvati’s arms wide defense is very snake-like. Call it the “Cobra”? We’ll call it the “Constrictor”. 


Helmet: Little Beaver – Both Native Americans who are also midgets. Look it up. Google is an amazing thing.


Team OMJ:

OMJ: Vince McMahon – Both keep the corporation alive. Both are better behind the scenes than in the ring. Nepotism?????? Nawwww. Never. Vindictive?  OMJ? Couldn’t be. Who would change the rules, like Vince, just to screw somebody?


Curtis: Rusev – The Eastern block connection is undeniable. No one likes Rusev. No one likes Curt. Neither could win the “big one” in a league that mattered. Curt runs to Monday nights like Rusev/Miro ran to AEW.


Lanzot: Mable – They’re both big dudes and both can move better than you might think. No one wanted to be “splashed” by Mable just like no one wants the Lanzot shoulder.


Lil Josh: Doink the Clown – It fits. Go with it. Freaking clown shoes, both of ’em.


Boccio: Chad Gable – Both are shorter gents, pretty well put together. They both hustle and work their asses off to win, but ultimately fall short. Not going to be one of the top guys.


Team Cole:

Cole: Paul Heyman – the great wordsmith. Amazing on the mic, no one wants to listen but everyone tunes in. The one we all love to hate. The manager, looking for the next great champ to ride the coat tails to a title. From Brock to Roman, DadBods to Chuckin’ Champs but don’t forget the dud RVD or was that the Long Con.


Wayne: Ryback – FEED ME MORE!!!!!!!!!!! Who wants to get in front of or in the ring with either of these human refrigerators?


Richie: X-Pac – Both are under-sized and shitty. Both needed the bigger guys to lead them to titles. Anyone remember the 1,2,3 Kid? Yeah, me neither. Who’s X-Pac without Triple H and DX?


Tirado: Rey Mysterio – I think they’re both tiny people from the same island. Rey does some crazy, high-risk moves off the top rope which often leads to disaster, but sometimes, a title. It’s very similar to a Tirado 3 from the logo. Every once in a while it hits and changes the game. When it misses, everything breaks (floors, backboards, teammates, etc.).


Chuck: Mr Ass – Chuck is constantly talking about his glutes and how good they look. Mr. Ass always wiggled his, like Parkman in Major League. Chuck apparently does the same on the golf course. Mr. Ass was great as a tag-team partner, not so much alone. Chuck is the same. He needs DX……or at least a Road Dogg.


Free Agents:

Cory: Otis – Both are strong AF. Do a side by side comparison. It’s obvious.


Pauly J: Christian – Both are under-estimated athletically. Both are fairly quiet (for this league and in comparison to other ‘mic generals”).


Witt: CM Punk – Both have been champions. Both have been considered “the best” at some point in their careers. That was a loooooooooooong time ago. Punk was gone for 9 years? Does anyone remember the last time Witt played? He’s probably better at delivering “pipe bombs” now than an actual performance.


Kellen: Hornswoggle – The both don’t really do much anymore. They’re both kinda side attractions to the real show. Also, I mean, look at them both. They could be twins. Someone please get that man a  shillelagh.


Doyle: Shamus – Both pale-skinned, bearded Irishmen who are very athletic and won’t back down from a challenge. Doyle has climbed the mountain top in the past, but it’s been awhile since he’s been relevant.


Grinder Finals Recap

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time
12/27/2023 6:30 pm Playoffs 2023.3 40'
12/27/2023
33 - 46
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
Curtis2315550.2732254132033Loss
Cole4421490.4293172164946Win

This game had all the makings of a classic semi-final grudge match. You had Curt vs Richie, a rematch of Shoulder Joe vs Freight Train Wayne, Cole vs Boccio (apparently they played football together or something), ‘Lil Hack…..I mean Josh vs Tirado, Chuck’s D vs Curt’s soft puss, Ben’s stiff arm vs Cole’s muffin top. Clearly this was going to be a clash for the ages………..

Someone forgot to tell these people that you need to score in order to win. I gotta tell ya, from my view from the cafeteria TV in San Quentin, it was awful. I’d rather have been the back pace car for a marathon for 90 year olds. Good lord this was boring to watch. He shoots. Clang. He shoots. Clank. He shoots. Air. How the hell did these 10 people sign up to play in a basketball league? Ugh.

Anyway, it seemed Team Curt was really only playing with Curt and a bunch of guys who were shooting with their eyes closed. Ben “Sears and Roebuck”, ‘Lil Josh, and Mike “Ball So Hard” Boccio all ended up on the Guys Who Tried Their Best list. There’s only 3 spots awarded and all 3 were taken up by 3 guys on the same team…..in the same game. Ouch. While Curt may have been wondering why his teammates were playing so badly, he has only himself to blame. He’s the one who arrogantly undervalued Richie and low-balled his bid for him, allowing Cole to swoop in at the last second and outbid him for his services. The rest of these guys – he drafted them of his own volition.

Early in the game Curt was employing the same strategy that led them to victory only a few weeks earlier. He played more of a facilitator role looking to get easy buckets for his teammates. This strategy worked, except the buckets weren’t going in. Boccio missed some early layups and Ben missed a few shots from close range. Curt turned to Joe to answer the call like he did earlier in the season vs Wayne. This time the well came up dry. Joe, Boccio, Ben, and “Lil Josh shot a combined 7/30 for the game.

The 3-seed Chuckers were also scoring deprived. Wayne (1/10) was having a hard time getting the ball to go in, as was Chucky T. (2/8). The score was 19-15 Chuck You at the half, after a small 4-0 run.

The second half started much better for Go Chuck Yourself. Richie “Always Take the Over” Creamer got it going driving past Ben and Boccio. Creamer (14/4 on 50% FG) led an early run to extend the lead to double digits. Jon “Bang Bang” Tirado continued his selfless team play. He constantly harassed the opposing ball handlers and took premium opportunities to score (9/5/2/1 on 67%FG). His scoring furthered the lead which never again got below double digits. Curt tried to get his team back in the game with his shooting, but to no avail. Curty finished with 17 points on 8/25 shooting. The Chuck’ets team harassed Curt the entire game, often picking him up full-court. As a team the Cowering Curts shot 27%. That won’t get it done in the playoffs.

PS: Cole continued to ride playoff coattails.

Ramifications of the outcome:
– Curt again comes up short in the playoffs. Should he be allowed to captain again?
– Richie advances to a championship game. Could he win his first big boy ring?
– Joe went 4/15. Will he concede that Wayne’s his daddy?

Curtis

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Ben Sears0000150.2000.2000801014.7624.2
Curtis Masich00118250.3200.3400721014.3841.3
Joe Marie00024150.2670.3330411003.3538.3
Josh Morcelle0010130.3330.3330010112.0020.0
Mike Boccio0000170.1430.1430311003.0129.6
Total002315550.2730.3003322541317.32046.7

Cole

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Chris Cole00017110.6360.68201230126.02586.5
Chuck Thomasulo0022280.2500.3750200010.7-126.3
Jon Tirado0001460.6670.7500521013.71485.4
Richie Creamer00007140.5000.5000401003.31269.1
Wayne Haynes00201100.1000.1000820022.7-113.3
Total004421490.4290.4694631721616.34986.3

Captain Tenneal Avatar

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time
12/27/2023 7:30 pm Playoffs 2023.3 40'
12/27/2023
51 - 52
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
KO2324560.42934114386151Loss
Gersitz1623580.39718209155952Win

The Rumble at Eldridge! Don’t get it twisted, there were fireworks way before the infamous postgame incident. This one was some top tier back-and-forth action, and everyone from both teams gave it their all. Tall Justin was tall and such, leading his team with 17 points and 4 blocks. Surprisingly, Zach and sub Pauly P (who allowed the real MVP to sub in the playoffs?) led the Jettas in GAPE, both posting 19. Zach took advantage of the defense and shot 60% from the field. The highly outspoken Tommy Hughes managed 12 points of his own, despite being blocked twice (don’t care what the stats say) by one of those damn youngin’s he looooves so much. Everyone for Kellen’s team played good all around ball, all scoring in double digits, all amounting 8+ rebounds, and everyone was above 10 GAPE. Some would say they deserved this win based on their play! What ever could have occurred that prevented them from reaching the finals?

You guessed it – Mike mothafuckin Benjamin made it rain late with some clutch 3’s that gave Gersitz’s squad just enough cushion to squeak by. Squeaky clean!! Gersitz appeared to have actually put forth an effort this game, and whaddaya know he had 25 GAPE and shot 67%. GarMatt VailBeesing continued his solid Grinders debut season with 15 points 9 boards and 4 assists – and he actually did look like Vaillancourt when he went for an open layup with about 10 seconds left and smoked it. Luckily some crafty defense prevented KO’s team from capitalizing. Young Peyton was all over the stat sheet, laying down an 8/4/4 line with a steal and 2 (shut up it was 2) blocks. I’m pretty sure every make he had was some ridiculous acrobatic layup – and every miss was a wide open look. Al struggled only shooting 2/9, and honestly didn’t do much else – if he had knocked down even a couple of those signature baseline jumpers this game may not have been nearly this close.

The main event of this battle though was the literal battle that occurred in the closing seconds, when the KO’s pleaded for a jump ball as time expired, then decided they wanted a flagrant foul instead after some kind of entanglement between Worm and Zach. A couple of playful shoves and some kind exchange of pleasantries later, and the Jets conceded defeat*.

KO

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Justin Rybinski00018220.3640.38608104310.71349.0
Tommy Hughes00125120.4170.5000830042.71146.3
Zach Newberry 00106100.6000.6000930003.01982.6
Sub00005120.4170.41708440010.71969.0
Total002324560.4290.45551331144727.062100.5

Gersitz

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Al Derrico0000290.2220.2220420001.3336.3
Garrett Beesing00036200.3000.3750941015.01447.3
Mike Benjamin0013370.4290.6430320011.0852.4
Mike Gersitz 00008120.6670.66707340110.32594.2
Peyton Urbaniak00104100.4000.4000441125.3947.5
Total002623580.3970.44852271561523.05995.9

Vic Romano Avatar

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time
12/27/2023 8:30 pm Playoffs 2023.3 40'
12/27/2023
55 - 49
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
Cole2923560.41124155146155Win
Gersitz8323650.35429113104249Loss

After a controversial ending and the ensuing chaos, we finally got a chance to see the finals for the forfeit-riddled Winter session of 2023. It came down to the 1-seed Gersitz vs the 3-seed Cole.

Team Gersitz started hot, jumping out to a ten-point lead at the half, but failed to play any defense in the second half. Instead, they elected to allow Team Cole to shoot uncontested threes, like a bunch of carnies charging $3 for 5 shots at the basket. I suppose that makes sense because Team Gersitz did have a miserable night shooting eight-team airballs. I guess they had to collect that money back somehow. Overall, they were led by a solid effort from newcomer Garrett, who had 16 points and 10 rebounds, and from Crazy Al (16 points).

Team Cole drained 9 three pointers (majority in the second half) to complete their comeback and take home the title. Wayne and Richie took turns pulling a Ford, claiming devastating injuries only to return heroically and help their team. Cole was the key cog though in all this mess as he was all over the court to the tune of 16 points, 10 rebounds, and 5 assists. In the end, Richie finally won a big boy title on the back of his nemesis and a DadBod, Chris Cole. All the years of allowing Cole to have his way with his sister finally came full circle and paid off. She may be the big winner in all of this as she no longer has to say “is it in yet” on a nightly basis.

Congrats to the champs may your title reign be short and sucky….long live the DadBods!

Cole

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Chris Cole 00046130.4620.61501050033.32164.8
Chuck Thomasulo0001360.5000.5830010000.0571.7
Jon Tirado0001140.2500.3750430103.3830.2
Richie Creamer00236160.3750.4690044018.01046.8
Wayne Haynes00007170.4120.41201021005.31764.1
Total002923560.4110.49155241551420.06199.7

Gersitz

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Al Derrico00008180.4440.4440300001.0959.0
Garrett Beesing 00327190.3680.42101060105.31854.4
Mike Benjamin0021240.5000.6250100000.3229.3
Mike Gersitz00004130.3080.3080922007.01250.5
Peyton Urbaniak00302110.1820.1820631004.0223.4
Total008323650.3540.37749291131017.74375.9

‘Twas the Night Before Grinders 2023……..

It’s that time of year again folks. Enjoy!


'Twas the night before Grinders
And all through the halls
Not a sound could be heard
Not even an "Aaaaaaaaiiirrrrrr Baaaaaallllllll"

The stats were all posted 
On the website with care.
The sheets were stuffed full
Like Richie's sister, with her legs in the air.

We all bellied up
Snug to the bar,
About to say things that certainly, 
Might go too far.

Jimmy's team had visions of Rings
Running through their bald heads.
But that was all foiled
When Kieta took the shots, instead.

Mike Ford did what Mike Ford does.
He stepped on the court and played, 
"Just because."

First Ballot E.
He tried his best.
After the game he was heard,
"Why did Jimmy draft this mess?"

Helmet, poor Helmet.
He got a ton of rest.
Of course his team lost.
He's a fan of the Mets.

Speaking of losers,
There's team Jaff May.
We all watched them and asked,
"Can any of them play?"

There's Bryant the Grinder.
That guy doesn't pass it.
His best "dime" all session
Was the one to the closet.

Todd "Big Dixon"
Showed up for a week or two.
Bro, please attend Grinders.
What is it that you do, do?

Mike Salvati plays hard,
Of that there's no doubt.
When he doesn't get the ball.
You'll see a grown man pout.

Pauly Palumbo is a guy
That even I can't tease.
When he walks on the court
I just chant "MVP!"

Away to the bathroom
I flew like a flash.
I opened the stall
And sat on my ass.

Speaking of ass,
I think of Team K.O.
There's Tommy, Josh and Kellen,
All shaped like the letter O.

Soft as Charmin is coming so
Please don't foil it.
The only rim Tall Justin gets near
Is the one on the toilet.

We can't forget Zach
Who plays with a scowl.
This dude plays good D?
All he does is foul.

Speaking of foul,
Team Cole comes to mind.
They hack and eye rake you,
until you go blind.

So Cole is fat,
He flips and he flops.
That f'ers so fat
He can't even stop.

He whines and complains,
And bitches and moans.
He's so fat,
You can hear his waistband groan.

Talk about groaning,
We do when JT shoots.
Miss 10 in a row?
JT gives zero hoots.

On the topic of missing
This team looks to Chuck T.
He misses so badly,
We think “can he even see?”

Richie shows up now,
But his team doesn't care.
We all know his best work
Is done with a chair.

Wayne oh Wayne.
He's such a large mass.
He puts his layups
Right through the glass.

On the topic of glass
Team Curt we see through you.
Your team is soooooo bad.
How did your team finish number 2?

Curtis Masich just shoots.
He doesn't know how to dish.
If his team wants the ball
They call Make-A-Wish.

Ben is back.
He's showed up the most.
I thought he was a myth.
I thought he was a ghost.

Boccio keeps playing.
When he dribbles he falls.
Boccio should retire
And go back to football.

‘Lil Josh is on this team
But he really doesn't matter.
He's so minute (my-noot) I can't tell
If he's shorter - or fatter.

Joe Marie is a tough guy
When he lowers his shoulder.
He should be thrown out of the league
Before he gets bolder.

This leaves us with Gersitz
And “his” uninspiring crew.
One playoff game is all they have
Before their season is through.

Garrett's a new guy.
Let's make him sing a Christmas carol.
Dude you suck at basketball.
Go back to playing football with Darryl.

Mike Benjamin's weak
And so is his hamstring.
His only claim to fame
is a mini-season, half-a ring.

Old Man Jon done got hurt
So he might have to retire.
One more IPA or chicken finger
And his heart may expire.

His son Peyton
Wears a bandana - a real trend setter.
Unfortunately for him,
His Dad’s jumper is STILL better.

Crazy Al's a saavy vet.
At the bar he should stay.
Al's not great at basketball.
He's more of a Pele.

The buzzer had sounded.
It caused quite a clatter.
I ran into the gym 
To see what was the matter.

To what to my wandering eyes should appear
Grinders of old spreading holiday cheer.
There was Nate and PigPen and Poke there too.
Pauly J, Corey, and ‘Lil Cuz to name a few.

Lamson and Benson
Scotty Walters, and Swain
I can't think of many more.
My brain is in pain.

They sang and they laughed
And drank and didn't stop
That was until they watched
Witt flop and flop.

Vaillancourt from Baltimore
Streamed our games live.
I won't repeat what Richie said,
“Danielle's quite the..................she's 45.”

Who else is missing?
Who's dodging the bullet.
They're all scared unlike Curt's sister,
She really took it.

On Sandy and Chuck
And John with the stash.
You can pay with a card.
Better tip her in cash.

Where's Crandall and Schwegler?
Where's Panda and Lou?
Don't worry Psardellis
We didn't forget about you.

One week from championship Wednesday,
Never forget that game Cole wasn’t lippy,
He got torched for forty-seven,
Courtesy of one, Mike Malicki.

The excitement is there.
The playoffs are here.
Sit down and enjoy them.
Grab a cold beer.

While you watch and you trash talk,
Honor Grinders rule one, don't deny.
Merry Christmas to all
And BALL DON'T LIE!


P.S. Buzz’s girlfriend……….woof!

Week 10 Review…

Greetings fan(s) of Grinders Basketball! This week marks the return of the GAPE Chicken. The regular beat writers heard he was too busy tagging Richie’s sister to watch the 6:30 game, but he “tried his best”. Enjoy.

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time
12/06/2023 6:30 pm Grinders 2023.3 40'
12/06/2023
56 - 42
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
KO0028560.500402157148756Win
Jeff May1021770.27329913153242Loss

KO Outclasses Jeff May in Basketball Duel

In a basketball match between Team KO and Team Jeff May, the younger squad of KO emerged victorious with a final score of 56-42. This game showcased that age is indeed a number as KO’s energetic and agile players outperformed the more seasoned Jeff May team.

Key Players for KO:
* Josh Lanzot ($9): Lanzot’s all-around performance with 16 points, 12 rebounds, and 5 assists proved instrumental in KO’s success.

* Justin Rybinski ($12): Rybinski’s impressive 32 points, along with 12 rebounds, highlighted the youth and dynamism of KO.

* Tommy Hughes ($22): Hughes showcased precision with a perfect shooting record, adding 10 rebounds and 9 assists to KO’s dominating performance.

* Zach Newberry ($11): Newberry contributed with 6 points, 6 rebounds, and 5 assists, demonstrating the depth of KO’s not as old talent.

Challenges Faced by Jeff May’s Seasoned Lineup:

Despite the collective efforts of experienced players like Bryant The Grinder, Jeff May, Mike Salvati, and Paul Palumbo, Jeff May’s team struggled with offensive efficiency and defensive strategies. The game highlighted the difficulties faced by an older team when competing against a more agile and youthful opponent.

This victory cements KO’s status as a rising force in the league, proving that a team’s age doesn’t necessarily dictate its success on the court. Jeff May’s team, while seasoned and wise, will analyze this defeat as an opportunity for growth and strategic refinement in upcoming matchups.

Fun Fact:

Did you know GAPE Chicken, with his knack for pecking out hard-hitting questions and writing scathingly honest articles, is rumored to have a side hustle in money laundering air ball funds.

KO

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Josh Lanzot00008200.4000.40001251128.02161.9
Justin Rybinski 000016300.5330.533012222612.03077.2
Tommy Hughes0000111.0001.000010913311.32244.2
Zach Newberry0000350.6000.6000651136.01444.8
Total000028560.5000.500564021571437.387128.4

Jeff May

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Bryant The Grinder00005260.1920.19201112109.7427.1
Jeff May00005260.1920.1920433027.3-318.4
Mike Salvati0000350.6000.6000243016.71248.4
Paul Palumbo 00108200.4000.400012150214.01958.1
Total001021770.2730.27342299131537.73258.5

GAPE Chicken Avatar

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time
12/06/2023 7:30 pm Grinders 2023.3 40'
12/06/2023
43 - 55
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
Cole4519620.30626104053143Loss
Curtis4525600.41739133276655Win

Team Where’s Richie 43 vs Team Curtis 55

Team Cole came into this matchup needing a victory over Team Curtis to clinch 2nd place and a first round bye. They came out… and they tried their best. We think.

Cole’s squad was once again without Richie “Team Player” Creamer. One game back and Richard was already on another sabbatical. Captain Curtis, who went full-out Patrick Mahomes on draft day, is thinking he may have dodged a bullet. Wayne played a solid game – maybe his best of the season, pumping in 17/14/3 and 23 GAPE on the night. Tag teammate Christopher Cole put in a reasonable all-around performance too. He shot 40% from the floor, 12/8/3 and a respectable, albeit underachieving, 15 GAPE. This Beat Writer will have to verify with the GAPE Chicken – but I don’t think that is a very good GAPE/LBs ratio. We’ll get back to you on that one. Anyway, Team Cole really struggled with their number 3 and 4 guys. Airball Brothers Chuck and Johnny T shot a combined 6/32, converting only 2 from three-point range. Respectively, they finished with -4 and -3 GAPE. Way to ball out fellas.

Team Curt’s depth players really outplayed their Team Cole counterparts. Boccio, along with fellow role-players Little Josh and Curtis, combined for 10/23 on the night – out-scoring Tirado and Thomasulo 21-14. Those points really seemed to make the difference. Oh wait – no. Just kidding. They didn’t make the real difference in this one. In game that was closer than the final indicated… Joey “BANG-BANG” Marie went OFF. Nailing 3 after consecutive 3 at the end of the game, Joe single handedly gut-punched Team Cole by taking their 3 point lead and turning it into a 12 point lead in like 90 seconds. Then, he took himself out of the game – citing that he was tired of slaying and needed to rest for next week. Ben bounced back from a poor performance last week with a double-double (12/10) and a solid 13 GAPE. Curtis will try and brag that he had 7 assists… but when you have Joe Marie hitting uncontested shots on 57.9% EFG, do those assists really mean that much? Real Grinders know better. Keep working Curtis – you are so close to being in the league’s elite. The beat writers can almost taste it for you.

Fun Facts::

“The Spies Who Chucked Me” Chuck T and Jon T have a combined WaR of 0.07.

GAPE Chicken reports the aforementioned inquiry on Christopher Coles GAPE/LBs statistic is indeed, not great. GAPE Chicken also reminded the Beat Writers that it is against his programming to humiliate real people.

Cole

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Chris Cole00006150.4000.4000833028.71556.2
Chuck Thomasulo00112140.1430.1790310001.0-416.0
Jon Tirado00214180.2220.2500131012.3-320.8
Wayne Haynes 00137150.4670.56701430024.72367.4
Total004519620.3060.34743261040516.73159.2

Curtis

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Ben Sears00106180.3330.33301032129.31346.3
Curtis Masich00105100.5000.50001271118.02474.0
Joe Marie 00049190.4740.5790920013.02272.0
Josh Morcelle0010250.4000.4000210000.7330.3
Mike Boccio0011380.3750.4380600032.0437.3
Total004525600.4170.45855391332723.066102.6

Kenny Blankenship Avatar

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time
12/06/2023 8:30 pm Grinders 2023.3 40'
12/06/2023
67 - 54
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
Gersitz2531670.46342142268367Win
Jimmy5624710.3383195134554Loss

Team Who’s the Captain 67 vs Team Fredette 54

The leadup……. the most talented player in the league vs the best player (statistically) ever. It’s kind of a Kobe vs Duncan thing. This is one of those matchups you hope to see and hope everyone sticks around for.

The start of this game was back and forth. “First Ballot” Boerdner got off to a quick start for the Jimmies. E did his thing from 3 and also hit the throwback button and made some classic E driving layups through the defense. His efforts were countered by an incredibly aggressive Garrett Bee”sting”. Garrett (10/21, 24/10/5, 26 GAPE) pushed the tempo up and challenged the buffet-laden Jimmers to run up and down on both ends. This effort netted him some easy transition buckets and assists to “Crazy” Al Derrico (9/19, 18/8). When the tired “d” sagged off, Bee”sting” showed his range to the tune of (4) 3-pointers (mostly in Ford’s chin). The number 1 overall seed held an advantage through most of the later stages of the first-half.

Speaking of Ford, his jumper was drier than the Sahara in the beginning, but he eventually “went to work” on the block (7/19, 15/9), taunting Gersitz by hitting him with the “too small” hand gesture. Big G responded by stuffing a Ford layup just like he brags about stuffing Old Fashioneds down his yap. E’s offensive output cooled as the first half went on, becoming a forgotten man. It was during this time where MVP Jimmy started to pick up the pace for himself/team. When the rest of the offense came up a little dry, Jimmy went a bit hero-ball, looking more like Jimmy Harden than Jimmy buckets. He did have a game-high 27 GAPE (10/22, 22/11/5/4) but turned into a bit of a solo act. The sidelines could see Ford and E roll their eyes after each and every time Jimmy was more “The Professor” like.

As the second-half unfolded and the Jimmers closed the lead, “Big G.” Gersitz started to make an impact on the game, instead of merely sleepwalking through it. G (6/13, 12/12/3/1/2) got some easy layups against some shorter man-to-man defenders and when they backed up, hit some open jumpers. He was one Dikembe finger-wag on Ford away, from sending the crowd into a frenzy. The extra effort from “Big G.” and the pesky defense (on Jimmy) by Peyton “Skin and Bones” Urbaniak, allowed the top seed to pull away. E got hot late, but to no avail. The second-half run was high-lighted, and the dagger dropped, by none other than defacto captain “Old Man” Jon Urbaniak (3/8, 7/5/2). OMJ took a pass from his progeny and without hesitation, launched a 3-ball from the wing (immediately exclaiming, “It’s good!”). He was right. That “J” was wetter than Curt & Richie’s sisters on Nickel Night at the club. Rumors swirl that OMJ dropped his pants and did the helicopter facing the hapless Jimmer D, and walked off the court.

Fun Facts:

Justin “You People” Gerardi will be the FIRST Grinder in HISTORY to finish a season with more air balls that FG made. Damn!

Mike “Big G.” Gersitz would be the runaway favorite for all major end of year awards……if he played enough games to qualify.

Gersitz

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Al Derrico00109190.4740.4740801004.71666.0
Garrett Beesing 000410210.4760.57101050023.32673.8
Jon Urbaniak0011380.3750.4380520021.7642.4
Mike Gersitz00006130.4620.462012312010.02376.8
Peyton Urbaniak0000360.5000.5000740022.31262.0
Total002531670.4630.50067421422622.083125.7

Jimmy

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Eric Boerdner00136200.3000.3750320011.0435.8
Jimmy Zeitz 003210220.4550.500011540011.72771.0
Justin Gerardi00101100.1000.1000811014.7117.7
Mike Ford00017190.3680.3950910115.01353.0
Total005624710.3380.3805431951322.34576.6

Captain Tenneal Avatar

Playoff Picture

The final week of our regular season is approaching, and the final bye in the first round of the playoffs is still up for grabs.  Gersitz and company wrapped up first place last week when they curb-stomped Team Jimmy. Jimmy wrapped up last place with this week’s forfeit (again) to KO.  Jeff May and his team of old men locked up 5th place.  Second through fourth remain wide open…

2023.3

PosTeamFormWLL5STRKTmFG%TmFGA%PFPADIFFTm GAPETm GmScore
1Gersitz
W W W L
824-1L10.4230.34053474360.897.2
2Curtis
W L W W
734-1W20.3910.38852511456.689.7
3Cole
W W L W
643-2W10.3530.35352483551.681.9
4KO
W L L W
552-3W10.4100.3845656056.490.5
5Jeff May
L L L L
280-5L50.3500.3895254-1644.575.0
6Jimmy
L L W L
281-4L10.3370.3994958-7638.566.9

Tie-breakers:

  • Head-to-head
  • Overall Point Differential (Grinders is using the average point differential per game so teams aren’t unfairly impacted by other teams forfeitures).
  • Head-to-head Point Differential


Team Curtis Scenarios:

  • 2nd: Win against Gersitz and/or Cole loses to Jeff May
  • 3rd: Lose against Gersitz and Cole wins against Jeff May 


Team Cole Scenarios:

  • 2nd: Win against Jeff May and Curtis loses to Gersitz
  • 3rd: Win against Jeff May and Curtis wins vs Gersitz
  • 4th: Lose to Jeff May


Team KO Scenarios:

  • 3rd: Cole loses to Jeff May
  • 4th: Cole wins vs Jeff May


Other fun “Stuff”:

MVP: Chris Cole goes up against league favorite Paul Palumbo Wednesday – with more than just playoff implications on the line.  The winner of this head-to-head battle will probably get that coveted League MVP award.  Grinders fans know who to root for.

WAP & FGA: I know, I know, Curtis has a 12 shot lead over Bryant The Grinder… in two less games.  Bryant has a slight WAP lead over our reigning ball hogger.

Hero: Cole, Paul P, and Jimmy Z could all walk away as the “hero”.

Helmet: Air Balls vs (FGM x 3).  Too bad his team forfeits this week…


Week… Wait, 30 what now?

Hello fellow Grinder sports fans. After a rough first few weeks where nobody showed up, this season is in full swing with only 2 weeks left. That’s just two weeks to determine who has a buy in the first round of the playoffs, and who has to join the rest of the plebeians in Round 1. Here are the current standings:

2023.3

PosTeamFormWLL5STRKTmFG%TmFGA%PFPADIFFTm GAPETm GmScore
1Gersitz
W W W L
824-1L10.4230.34053474360.897.2
2Curtis
W L W W
734-1W20.3910.38852511456.689.7
3Cole
W W L W
643-2W10.3530.35352483551.681.9
4KO
W L L W
552-3W10.4100.3845656056.490.5
5Jeff May
L L L L
280-5L50.3500.3895254-1644.575.0
6Jimmy
L L W L
281-4L10.3370.3994958-7638.566.9

Alright – on to last week’s games…

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time
11/29/2023 6:30 pm Grinders 2023.3 40'
11/29/2023
38 - 54
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
Curtis5218630.28638136234438Loss
Gersitz1226590.44133144186454Win

6:30 – Don’t call me Curt vs. Team BDE: 38-54

The night’s first game featured a battle of the top two teams in the standings after week 7.  First place Team Gersitz vs second place Team WAP, who entered the week on a three game winning streak.  WAP Captain Curtis “I Heart WaR” Masich hadn’t hesitated to let people know his team was on fire, and boasted that they were probably the best team in the league.  The question of the week was, is Curtis right?  Or, is this team the Miami Dolphins of Grinders… score a lot of points – against the bottom feeder teams, but fold vs the big boys.

Team Urbaniak played yet another game without league stalwart Mike “Captain” Gersitz, who had to work or pull it or whatever it is he does when he isn’t dominating hapless Grinders.  OMJ and his crew of younger fellas also played without depth player Worm Benjamin – who had scheduling conflicts. On paper, this undersized squad looked like an easy opponent for Team Curtis, especially with no subs, extra-especially in Curtis’ fantasyland.  But, nah.  The opposite happened.  Peyton was unleashed to be the go-to man.  Curtis and his squad of guys who don’t get to shoot much chose to play ZONE in an effort to slow the young man down – which they were able to do (Peyton finished 4/15 for 8 points and 5 GAPE).  Great.  Nice work, Team Curtis.  However – Al, Garrett, and OMJ combined for a sizzling 50% shooting from the floor, dropping open shot after open shot.  Al shot 58.8%, had 20/5 and 20 GAPE – just stellar. OMJ, with IPA coursing through his veins, shot 4/7 and held Joe Marie to a measly 10 points down low.  Garrett had 18/17/6 and a strong 29 GAPE.  Maybe play some actual defense Curtis!

Speaking of defense… Team Urbaniak absolutely put the clamps on Captain Curtis and his team of innocent bystanders.  Curtis, who shot 28 times and led the league in WAP (naturally) could never get into a rhythm.  Garrett Beesing was in his face the majority of the game, and Peyton finished him out at the end, altering shot after shot.  Sad Curtis, who is shooting 41.9% for the season, was held to just 28.6% for the night.  That’s not very good.  But wait, aren’t their other guys on the team, you ask?  Oh yeah – forgot about them (just like Curtis!).  They shot almost as many air balls as baskets made.  Invisible Ben was held to 2-8 FG.  Joe Marie was 5/18 and had a double-double, but on a disappointing 27.8% shooting.  “30 Disgusting Seconds” of Josh was out there for… about 30 seconds.  Boccio the Grinder, the only Grinder worth a damn in this game for Team Curtwuss, had a couple steals and led the team on 37.5% shooting.  These guys were so scared of playing man on Peyton that they quickly went back to zone after a short time in man coverage – despite the absolute blitzkrieg being dropped from the floor by Al and company.

With this convincing 54-38 trouncing, Team Urbaniak stays in first by a couple of games, despite the leagues best all-around player missing all but 3 of their matches. This team proved that they can win no matter who the go-to guy is. Peyton?  Garrett?  Crazy?  Gersitz?  Old Man Jon?  Worm and his 8% shooting? (thats not a joke – check out his performance for Team Gersitz so far) Doesn’t matter.

Sad Curtis, after being exposed once again by a good team, fell to 3rd place. After their inevitable upcoming trouncing against Team Cole in week 9, Curtis will cement the number 3 seed. At least they will get to play one of those “scrub” teams in the playoffs, setting the stage for another glorious flameout in the post season.

Fun Fact: Old Man Jon and Curtis are both shooting 41%.

Curtis

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Ben Sears0020280.2500.2500731024.3530.0
Curtis Masich 00128280.2860.321010522011.31647.0
Joe Marie00105180.2780.27801120013.7838.0
Josh Morcelle0000010.0000.0000201002.7218.7
Mike Boccio0010380.3750.3750832006.71357.4
Total005218630.2860.30238381362328.74470.8

Gersitz

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Al Derrico000010170.5880.5880511003.72084.7
Garrett Beesing 00028200.4000.45001762029.72969.9
Jon Urbaniak0000470.5710.5710341033.01060.0
Peyton Urbaniak00104150.2670.2670830134.7531.3
Total001226590.4410.45854331441821.064103.7

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time
11/29/2023 7:30 pm Grinders 2023.3 40'
11/29/2023
48 - 73
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
Jeff May8024720.3334093193648Loss
Cole2932720.44437248289473Win

7:30 – Richie and Famous vs. MAYbe I’ll Play: 73-48

One of biggest offseason stories was Captain Cole’s unique draft strategy – selecting the very hit-or-miss duo of Chuck and Jon Tirado, in addition to dropping a cool $22 on Richie, who didn’t make his session debut until 9 weeks in (technically more because of reschedules and holidays). If I were to only show you Chris Cole’s box score, you’d probably say “Wow! He only shot 5 times? Only 3 boards as well? Dude must’ve been getting bullied! 9 assists though? Classic Cole being carried.” You might also say some more vulgar and inhumane things about our favorite villain, likely weight-related… but the tale of the tape in this one was that everybody was dialed in and making it rain from all over the court. Poor Pauly P tried as hard as he could to carry his (I mean Jeff May’s) team, but they simply could not get a stop. It was an onslaught – Chuck had 15, Tirado went for 18 with only 6 of those being from distance, and Wayne hit 3 trifectas of his own and made the much smaller opposition suffer down low with an astounding 23 points and 16 rebounds, tallying a 33 GAPE. As a team the Cole Miners shot 44% from the field, a number that could’ve been over .500 if Richie wasn’t so very dusty and rusty. Although I must concede, 10/11/6 with 3 steals really is pretty solid for a debut after a many month stint at rehab.

As for the Mayflowers, well, you tried your best. I can’t remember the last time they had their whole team present, but it was the same story we’ve seen over the last few weeks. Bryant took his mandated 30 attempts and finished with 14 points against a -4 GAPE. Salvati played his vintage grit and grind ball, finishing 6/7/7 but really struggled to contain both Tirado and Chuck on the perimeter. Peyton continued his iron man streak of subbing and perhaps the wear and tear is affecting the young boy (it shouldn’t be – your 23, not 43!) as he went 4/13 with 2 air balls, 9 boards and a whole lot of nothing else. Paul P. Revere tried his best to stave off the redcoats, as he had a 20/12 performance on 58% shooting (!!) with some ridiculously acrobatic takes. Team May falls to 2-6, and all they want for Christmas is for their star captain to make his return to at least be able to compete a little bit.

With this win, Team Cole jumps Team Masich in the standings to take 2nd place. If they can fire on all cylinders like this consistently, I see no reason why they can’t make a championship run. Especially if Richie can come in and contribute as a complimentary piece and not let his captain’s ribbing get to him. And as long as he can stay away from those damn chairs…

Fun Fact: Bryant the 30 Shot Taker missed the first 10 minutes of the game.

Jeff May

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Bryant The Grinder00207300.2330.2330601116.0-420.2
Mike Salvati0010380.3750.3750770012.31353.0
Paul Palumbo003010170.5880.58801222038.02370.8
Peyton Urbaniak00204130.3080.3080900023.0433.4
Sub0000040.0000.0000600022.009.1
Total008024720.3330.3334840931921.33664.1

Cole

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Chris Cole0001350.6000.7000392209.02161.0
Chuck Thomasulo00136160.3750.4690431033.3944.0
Jon Tirado00028170.4710.5290311023.01259.4
Richie Creamer00105150.3330.33301163009.71956.5
Wayne Haynes000310190.5260.60501651037.33383.0
Total002932720.4440.50773372482832.394134.2

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time
11/29/2023 8:30 pm Grinders 2023.3 40'
11/29/2023
62 - 58
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
Jimmy5827640.422291692106662Win
KO3228700.400441873147158Loss

8:30 (Primetime slot) KO’s champs? 58 vs Firehosers 62 (OT)

Buckner, Playoff Curt, Semi-final Richie, ’04 Yankees vs Sox, Falcons 28-3, Webber TO, 13 seconds……… What do all of these have in common with Grinders? Why are they being listed in our write-ups? They are some of the greatest chokes in sports history…..but none as bad as Kellen and the Jets blowing a 5 point lead with 8 seconds left, AND possession. Never before has a defending champ crumbled in crunch time and under the weight of expectations. On to the game.

The game was back and forth throughout most of the contest. KO’s squad got out fast and had a 2 point lead at the break.That slim margin was mostly provided by Justin “USPS” Rybinski. The big fella found holes in the soft Firehoser’s zone for frequent buckets. Justin finished with 25 pts. on 12/28 shooting while gathering a game high 13 rebounds. More on him later. The Fireguys were able to get themselves together after a sluggish start. Some of that offense came from injured new guy, Matt “I didn’t touch you/it” Kieta. Kieta (6/15, 13 pts) was able to hit a couple of open jumpers and had a layup in a quick spurt. MVP Jimmy started to “go to work” as commanded by self-appointed Captain Ford Popovich. Jimmy was able to dribble himself into some open spots and show off his mid-range game, as well as his ability to get to the bucket.

The second half was one of those, “You had to be there.” situations. Josh “A-gap” Lanzot found some footing and was able to dominate the soft, low-post defense played by Ford. Josh (7/13, 14/13/6 – 25 GAPE) was getting layup after layup as well as offensive rebounds to extend possessions. More on him later. Things looked bleak for the first-responders later in the game, but that’s when “First Ballot” Boerdner stepped up like all the greats do. E’s first half was forgettable. The second-half was one only Eric Devendorf could appreciate. E (8/18, 19/10/7/3) started to get to the hole and score. Those drives later turned into kickouts for Jimmy and Kieta 3’s which clawed into their deficit.

As the game wound down into the final seconds, things started to get interesting. With the game in hand (up 5) Josh (to the begging of the crowd) launched a 3 with 8 seconds left. It went in and out. The ball moved quickly down the court to a WIDE OPEN Boerdner. BANG! 3-ball corner pocket. Lead cut to 2. Team KO called timeout to advance the ball. With only a little over 2 seconds, the game seemed over. No way could they blow this. WEEEEEEELLLLLLLLL. Captain KO called the in-bounds play for Justin to catch the ball in the corner????????? Genius! Justin and his size 17 clown shoes stepped out of bounds. Turnover. But still, the fire guys had to go the length of the court in 1.5 seconds. No shot! No shot????? Somehow, Justin got caught guarding Jimmy, and like Duke v Kentucky, Hill to Laettner, a miracle happened. Jimmy caught the ball near the free throw line….on the other side of half-court, took 1 dribble and finger-rolled the ball up on the rim. It paused, sat there for a second like Kawhi’s against the Sixers, and fell in at the buzzer!!!! Off to OT.

In OT, The Fireguys took control and held a 2 point lead with 4 seconds to go. Captain KO called for a Tommy Hughes (6/21, 13/7/7/4, 7TO) isolation 3 from the backside of the logo with 5 seconds left. He missed it, the Fireguys scored, icing the game and winning by 4. Total collapse.

The defending champs are now 3-5 in 4th place. The Firehosers move to 2-6, good for last place.

Oh yeah, Zach and Ford played, but they’re pretty much the same player anyway – soft, tall guys with no jumpers.

Fun fact: Helmet went 0-2 with 1 airball. He now has more airballs than shots made on the season. Ouch.

Jimmy

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Eric Boerdner00038180.4440.52801073039.32668.9
Jimmy Zeitz00329170.5290.58806550212.02368.5
Justin Gerardi0010020.0000.0000321003.0315.5
Matt Kieta00116150.4000.4330300031.0339.8
Mike Ford00024120.3330.4170720226.31146.7
Total005827640.4220.484622916921031.766101.4

KO

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Josh Lanzot00007130.5380.53801360136.32575.0
Justin Rybinski001112280.4290.44601322038.32262.6
Tommy Hughes00116210.2860.31007740710.3832.1
Zach Newberry0010380.3750.37501131219.71656.0
Total003228700.4000.414584418731434.771104.3

Week 8 Review

Eff it, let’s get right into it…

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time
11/15/2023 8:30 pm Grinders 2023.3 40'
11/15/2023
65 - 56
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
Curtis6729590.49226167547965Win
Jeff May2426730.35632113284756Loss

6:30 If Only Curt Could Pass to Himself 65 vs Team Mayday Mayday 56

On paper this game looked like a miss-match. Then Mayday got special, double secret dispensation, to have none other than “Trim” Tommy Hughes and “Crazy Al” sub for their squad of lost boys. To counteract that move, Captain Curt took advantage of the sub list and called in Garrett “god’s” Blessing to sub. Who plays for who anymore? I don’t know.

All I can remember from 2-weeks ago is that this game was back and forth throughout most of it. Tommy and Curt went nose-to-nose, Garrett finally played well for a team he subbed for, Bryant recorded his first career Grinder assist, and Team Curt pulled away late.

Curtis

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Curtis Masich002614300.4670.5670851004.73076.9
Josh Morcelle0020350.6000.6000441003.31144.3
Mike Boccio0000170.1430.1430852128.71032.2
Garrett Beesing002111170.6470.67606234216.02885.1
Sub000000000000000.0020.0
Total006729590.4920.55165261675432.779122.5

Jeff May

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Bryant The Grinder00119320.2810.2970731126.3533.6
Mike Salvati0000260.3330.3330810002.7959.0
Al Derrico00109220.4090.4090600022.0848.0
Tommy Hughes00036130.4620.57701172149.72566.2
Total002426730.3560.38456321132820.74779.5

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time
11/15/2023 7:30 pm Grinders 2023.3 40'
11/15/2023
63 - 60
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
Gersitz2529620.468361817127863Win
KO6229760.38231108225660Loss

7:30 Paper Champs 60 vs The Gersitz Six 63

Again, 2 weeks of memory loss. This game was back and forth early. Gersitz’s squad looked like they were going to blow out the reigning champs until a case of the turnovers took hold. The Champs got hot to pull it close. Hughes hit a prayer 3 to cut the deficit to 3. Someone turned the ball over (probably Garrett) with under 12 seconds left. In the scramble, no one could get free. Hughes launched one from the other side of the logo that missed. Game over.

Oh, Old Man Jon fell down, yelled things, threw the ball off of the wall, punched the floor, subbed himself out, and got even more angry when his Clapper didn’t work. Yelled at Tommy. Didn’t get memo Tommy was a big deal. Not that he should have needed a memo. That was exciting.

Gersitz

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Al Derrico00006140.4290.4290420123.3952.8
Garrett Beesing00014100.4000.45001060359.31750.3
Jon Urbaniak0000140.2500.2500110010.3020.0
Mike Benjamin0001150.2000.3000140010.3321.2
Mike Gersitz002212180.6670.722013213212.33594.1
Peyton Urbaniak00015110.4550.5000730012.31464.0
Total002529620.4680.508633618171228.078117.5

KO

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Josh Lanzot00008190.4210.4210850002.71865.4
Justin Rybinski004011270.4070.40701301118.31653.5
Tommy Hughes00127220.3180.3640434019.31043.3
Zach Newberry0010270.2860.2860502005.7542.5
Sub0000111.0001.0000121104.3740.3
Total006229760.3820.39560311082230.35691.7

Details

Date Time League Season Full Time
11/15/2023 6:30 pm Grinders 2023.3 40'
11/15/2023
54 - 44
Full Time

Results

TeamAir3PMFGMFGAFG%REBASTSTLBLKTOTmGAPETOutcome
Cole3425630.397421350165754Win
Jimmy4221630.3332585483244Loss

8:30 Jimmy Fredette’s 44 vs Chuck Your Couch 54

More foggy brain. Cole’s team had more subs than DiBella’s. Jimmy’s team rounded up the entire Urbaniak family to play. You figure it out. A pretty boring game from start to finish. Wayne and Cole were bullies. Jimmy tried to carry his team. E ventured into Richie territory with a -5 GAPE. Bla Bla Bla

Cole

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Chris Cole00118170.4710.500013530710.32157.0
Wayne Haynes00028200.4000.45001431056.71955.0
Al Derrico00105160.3130.3130921005.01045.3
Mike Benjamin00114100.4000.4500630042.0740.3
Total003425630.3970.429544213501624.05788.7

Jimmy

Player FTM FTA Air 3PM FGM FGA FG% EFG% PTS REB AST STL BLK TO Defense GAPE GmScore
Eric Boerdner00114200.2000.2250230020.7-516.7
Jimmy Zeitz002010280.3570.35707141112.31247.5
Jon Urbaniak0000140.2500.2500531013.7727.0
Peyton Urbaniak00116110.5450.59101110349.71861.8
Total004221630.3330.3494425854826.33261.3

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