‘Twas the Night Before Grinders 2023……..

It’s that time of year again folks. Enjoy!


'Twas the night before Grinders
And all through the halls
Not a sound could be heard
Not even an "Aaaaaaaaiiirrrrrr Baaaaaallllllll"

The stats were all posted 
On the website with care.
The sheets were stuffed full
Like Richie's sister, with her legs in the air.

We all bellied up
Snug to the bar,
About to say things that certainly, 
Might go too far.

Jimmy's team had visions of Rings
Running through their bald heads.
But that was all foiled
When Kieta took the shots, instead.

Mike Ford did what Mike Ford does.
He stepped on the court and played, 
"Just because."

First Ballot E.
He tried his best.
After the game he was heard,
"Why did Jimmy draft this mess?"

Helmet, poor Helmet.
He got a ton of rest.
Of course his team lost.
He's a fan of the Mets.

Speaking of losers,
There's team Jaff May.
We all watched them and asked,
"Can any of them play?"

There's Bryant the Grinder.
That guy doesn't pass it.
His best "dime" all session
Was the one to the closet.

Todd "Big Dixon"
Showed up for a week or two.
Bro, please attend Grinders.
What is it that you do, do?

Mike Salvati plays hard,
Of that there's no doubt.
When he doesn't get the ball.
You'll see a grown man pout.

Pauly Palumbo is a guy
That even I can't tease.
When he walks on the court
I just chant "MVP!"

Away to the bathroom
I flew like a flash.
I opened the stall
And sat on my ass.

Speaking of ass,
I think of Team K.O.
There's Tommy, Josh and Kellen,
All shaped like the letter O.

Soft as Charmin is coming so
Please don't foil it.
The only rim Tall Justin gets near
Is the one on the toilet.

We can't forget Zach
Who plays with a scowl.
This dude plays good D?
All he does is foul.

Speaking of foul,
Team Cole comes to mind.
They hack and eye rake you,
until you go blind.

So Cole is fat,
He flips and he flops.
That f'ers so fat
He can't even stop.

He whines and complains,
And bitches and moans.
He's so fat,
You can hear his waistband groan.

Talk about groaning,
We do when JT shoots.
Miss 10 in a row?
JT gives zero hoots.

On the topic of missing
This team looks to Chuck T.
He misses so badly,
We think “can he even see?”

Richie shows up now,
But his team doesn't care.
We all know his best work
Is done with a chair.

Wayne oh Wayne.
He's such a large mass.
He puts his layups
Right through the glass.

On the topic of glass
Team Curt we see through you.
Your team is soooooo bad.
How did your team finish number 2?

Curtis Masich just shoots.
He doesn't know how to dish.
If his team wants the ball
They call Make-A-Wish.

Ben is back.
He's showed up the most.
I thought he was a myth.
I thought he was a ghost.

Boccio keeps playing.
When he dribbles he falls.
Boccio should retire
And go back to football.

‘Lil Josh is on this team
But he really doesn't matter.
He's so minute (my-noot) I can't tell
If he's shorter - or fatter.

Joe Marie is a tough guy
When he lowers his shoulder.
He should be thrown out of the league
Before he gets bolder.

This leaves us with Gersitz
And “his” uninspiring crew.
One playoff game is all they have
Before their season is through.

Garrett's a new guy.
Let's make him sing a Christmas carol.
Dude you suck at basketball.
Go back to playing football with Darryl.

Mike Benjamin's weak
And so is his hamstring.
His only claim to fame
is a mini-season, half-a ring.

Old Man Jon done got hurt
So he might have to retire.
One more IPA or chicken finger
And his heart may expire.

His son Peyton
Wears a bandana - a real trend setter.
Unfortunately for him,
His Dad’s jumper is STILL better.

Crazy Al's a saavy vet.
At the bar he should stay.
Al's not great at basketball.
He's more of a Pele.

The buzzer had sounded.
It caused quite a clatter.
I ran into the gym 
To see what was the matter.

To what to my wandering eyes should appear
Grinders of old spreading holiday cheer.
There was Nate and PigPen and Poke there too.
Pauly J, Corey, and ‘Lil Cuz to name a few.

Lamson and Benson
Scotty Walters, and Swain
I can't think of many more.
My brain is in pain.

They sang and they laughed
And drank and didn't stop
That was until they watched
Witt flop and flop.

Vaillancourt from Baltimore
Streamed our games live.
I won't repeat what Richie said,
“Danielle's quite the..................she's 45.”

Who else is missing?
Who's dodging the bullet.
They're all scared unlike Curt's sister,
She really took it.

On Sandy and Chuck
And John with the stash.
You can pay with a card.
Better tip her in cash.

Where's Crandall and Schwegler?
Where's Panda and Lou?
Don't worry Psardellis
We didn't forget about you.

One week from championship Wednesday,
Never forget that game Cole wasn’t lippy,
He got torched for forty-seven,
Courtesy of one, Mike Malicki.

The excitement is there.
The playoffs are here.
Sit down and enjoy them.
Grab a cold beer.

While you watch and you trash talk,
Honor Grinders rule one, don't deny.
Merry Christmas to all
And BALL DON'T LIE!

P.S. Buzz’s girlfriend……….woof!

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