Around and around we go. When Cole will shut up or Ford will show up, nobody knows………
Oh and hey, we have Twitter now!
Team Vaillan-foul vs Good-looking Guys
Another week, another loss for Ford and co. Are they the best, worst team we’ve ever seen or the worst, best team. I don’t think they’re this bad, but alas, you are what your record says you are. The lone highlight for Team Foul-ancourt was Richie “Why Didn’t Someone Else Draft Me?” Creamer. Richie dropped 28 on the pretty boys. He also grabbed 10 rebounds, had 5 assists and 3 steals. In the small amount of time he was on the bench, he even made 4 bets on the overs that night for college basketball. Much like his team, he lost those bets too. Will anyone step up for this veteran team???? Yikes.
When Team Fabio was assembled, some said they were gonna be trash and some thought they could give people problems. So far, both opinions have been correct. They’ve throttled the Dadbods and been throttled by the Hi-liters. They played a bad Ford team close, but won. Who knows with these guys week to week? Justin and Jimmy each had a 20+ point double-double (with rebounds). They can hang with anyone if those two are going. Bobby “New Fish” continued his rookie Grinders campaign with 7 points and 5 boards. The highlight of the night came from Mike “It’s Bigger than a Worm” Benjamin. With the clock running down and the game in the balance, “Worm” gave Ford the up and under move of the century. Ford’s panties were left on the court, Worm called “game”, and the rest is history.
Hoops I Did it Again vs Reigning, Defending
Oh do the woes continue for Curt “I’m the AD Now” Maisch. Much like Curt’s Grinders equal (Ford), he continues to lose again. Us here at Grinders HQ are trying to figure out how. The pre-season smart $$$$ was on Team Curt to challenge Hi-liters in the Finals. Now it looks like they may not even make the play-in game (doesn’t exist….that’s how bad they are….). Curt continues to “get his points”, scoring another 26 to go along with 19 rebounds. He even got some help from the squad as Jeff “Ages Like a Fine Wine” May had a double-double, and “Crazy” Al also scored in double digits.
Ho hum. Another week another win for Hi-liters. They missed Tommy “L.A. Russ” Hughes two weeks ago and won. They missed Wayne “Watertown is Beautiful This Time of Year” Haynes last week and won. Can anyone stop these pricks???? They had THREE players with a double-double (Tommy 18/11, Gersitz 18/14, Pauly J. 21/10/6). Two players had over a 20 GAPE (PJ and G). They look like the 73 win Warriors team. They sleepwalk through stretches and turn it on whenever they want. Good luck dethroning the CHAMPS chumps.
Team Milicki vs Dadbod Does the Shammgod
We here at Grinders HQ are waiting for Team Milicki to start thrashing people. Four weeks in and we’re still waiting. They have all the pieces to drop 80-90 on fools any given Wednesday. They have Grinders SUPERSTARS like Mark “Hustle, Loyalty, Respect” Doyle, Eric “First Ballot HOF’er” Boerdner, Mike “47” Milicki, Todd “Fucking” Nixon, and Jon “Bang Bang” Tirado. This team should be killing it, not scoring 45 points. This team continues to shoot inefficiently (Milicki, 8/23, E 6/23, Jon 3/8). Are they not getting good looks? Are they settling? This team lives by the “J” and dies by the “J”. Right now they’re on life support.
I wonder if Dadbod knows that in basketball, the object of the game is to PUT THE BALL IN THE HOLE. To be fair, it seems like some have gotten that message. Zach “Light in the Loafers” Newberry was again efficient from the field shooting 50% (8 points, 7 boards). Mike “Cauliflower Ear” Salvati was perfect from the field (3/3, 6 points). Cole’s jumper sucked balls as usual (4/16). Jon “Streaky on the Court and in My Pants” Witt carried the team in the first half but couldn’t sustain the scoring in the second half. He finished with 15 points (7 boards, 6 assists). He did hit a big 3 late in the game as well as the game clinching floater with 30 seconds left. The story for Shammgod was Kellen “I play BIGGER than my Height” Owen. He channelled his inner Cole in the first-half, bricking everything. In the last 4 minutes of the game though he went all KOBE!!!! KO dropped all 10 of his points late, including (2) 3’s and was able to answer the late Team Milicki run.
Winners and Losers
Winners:
– K.O.: big time players show up in big time moments and make big time plays. MONSTER down the stretch for the Dadbods
– Worm: big bucket in a big spot….had Ford autograph the poster he put him on
– Hi-liters: still undefeated, still reigning and defending
– Pauly J: career high 21 points. Congrats!
Losers:
– Old Man Jon: got called out by his ex-wife on social media for his horrible Grinders performance.
– Richie: like A.I. back in the day. Where’s the supporting cast?
– Helmet: paying to play…. playing, not allowed to actually participate (3 shots in 120 minutes of game time)
NEXT WEEK:
mid-season awards, team prognostications, etc.