What’s a Suck Score?

“Bro, what’s this new “Suck Score” and why does Old Man Jon hate Cory so much?“

Nah, Old Man Jon likes Cory. He seems like a good dude – I’d even let him fuck Richie’s sister. The Suck Score highlights Grinders who… sucked.


Suck Score FAQs:

  • Q: How do you determine a grinder’s Suck Score?
  • A: Don’t worry about all that.

  • Q: What about all the “good” stuff I do? Like my points, rebounds, assists?
  • A: What about it? You’re probably not that good. Besides, that’s what we have “GAPE” for. Stop being selfish.

  • Q: What is the Suck Score out of?
  • A: 100.

  • Q: Why another negative stat? This world we live in is vile enough as it is. Most Grinders come to fraternize with the guys, have a couple drinks, get a good run in… forget about how polarized the country is, inflation, how doomed our planet is, and all the horrors of war. This seems counter to that goal.
  • A: Okay.
  • Q: No, seriously, why?
  • A: I have depression and your misery makes me a little less sad.

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